It's yo' birthday, get busy..

Or as you said, get sleepy. hehehehe, I just wanted to say... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANONG MERRICK!!! So this was way back when... And this was about a year ago or so, at your wedding. So you have a most beauteous day, get some rest, do what you wanna do cause... IT'S YO' BIRTHDAY! =)

Random Thought

"Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts --uncritically-- to those who hardly think about us in return." -T.H. White

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

So October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please click on the link on the right, that will fund free mammograms for women in need (you can also have an email reminder sent to you every day--so every day you're helping someone out there in need). If you like yogurt, please purchase the yoplait yogurt with the pink lids and send those lids in, "save lids, save lives." There are a bunch of stuff out there that you'd normally buy, but if you buy it in October it'll go towards Breast Cancer Research. Here are a few links: Heart To Tarte Collection from Sephora Glisten-Listen Gift Set Breast Cancer Awareness Pop-Up Travel Brush You can also buy these items at the store, and yes...it will go towards Breast Cancer Research. I'm doing the Susan G. Komen, Race for the Cure on February 27, 2005. I can't register yet, but when I can, you bet i'm going to be bugging everyone to sponsor me. =) I'm doing this in honor of my Aunt who passed away from Breast Cancer earlier this year. So anything that I can do to support the cause I will do. I also recruited a few friends and family members to run with me, if you want to run with me--please let me know. If I was ready, i'd do the City of Hope - Walk for Hope. But I just started training ("officially") a few weeks ago--it's going good, but I still got a ways to go. If anyone wants to train with me in so cal, please let me know (I got someone to train with at home). So please, this month, if you see anything with a pink lid (or it says proceeds goes towards Breast Cancer Research), please buy that instead of something that's not. I urge you to do what you can to help support this cause. I know a lot of women are lost because of this dreaded disease, so do what you can to help them out.

Pat me on the back...

I got another 90 on my quiz for my Policing Society class. Doing good, but I want to do better. Project is next week, right after our 3rd quiz. I'm a little worried about my Social Work class (I hope she gives us study guides for the mid term). I'm doing better now than when I was in undergrad, I wish I did better then...it would look a lot better on my behalf. This time around I think my professors know my name, which is always a good thing (seeing how quiet I usually am). My group thinks i'm a nerd, one of my best friends thinks i'm a nerdo--the other one is just happy i'm doing as good as I am. Eh whatever, I just hope this all works...a lot is riding on this. One might say the rest of my life. You know how some people say the rest of their life is based on their wedding/significant other or what not. Yeah, I don't have that, so i'm focused on myself. Nor do I have little people who look like me (that sprouted from me), so I focus on me (and those around me). Yeah, me me me. Whatever. Are YOU going to live my life for me? Thought not. Yeah, so far so good. Things seem to be falling in place. School wise at least. After all this I gotta write something that talks all about me. The Dean said i'll be a different person after I take these classes, I feel the change already. I like the challenges the professors have given me, i'd like to do more. I'd like to read more. Talk more. They're forcing me to speak, even my classmates...they poke me to raise my hand. I gotta get over this fear of speaking in front of large groups of people. I hate looking like an ass. People like to laugh at people who make an ass of themselves, as if they've never done it before. But yeah, to celebrate my "A" I got myself $1.00 nuggets. I wish they were dark meat, dark meat is so much better...

Schedule sucks more and more with each passing day...

There are things going on at home that I'd like to attend, but can't, cause my schedule sucks. I know, I know, gotta get some stuff done in order to do other things that I'd like to do...I can still complain right? For instance, my brother's best friend (and one of my good friends) is having a housewarming/house blessing...i'm still debating if I should go. I volunteer on Sundays, every Sunday till the weekend before Thanksgiving (the weekend before that is my last day), this is a requirement for one of my classes...can't go around it. I'd like to finish all that before Thanksgiving, so when the holiday's hit I can go gallivanting my merry way up and down the state. Of course when the actual holiday's hit classes will be over and the much needed 4.0 (*crosses-fingers*) will be had. So far so good. After that I can go on and apply all over the country (my mom's pretty excited about that--she hopes i'll get in somewhere in the bay w/ a scholarship). I wanted to go home for my Godson's birthday and for Halloween, i've never seen the kiddies in their costumes (and Lan was saying that if it was on a Saturday they would have come down--but it's not). I miss them, I talk to Rikki every day on aim (isn't that weird?)...ain't technology grand? I know, it's the choice I made. If my grades from undergrad were better to begin with (should not have been a nursing or psych major), I wouldn't be in this predicament. Then again, if they took me anyway I wouldn't have had this time to bond with old friends... That's one way to look at it right? I love seeing everyone, just this past weekend the boys came down. They tried to get a hold of me at like 2am, but I was in dream land apparently. At least I got to see some of you, the others of you i'd like to see next time I go home *hint* *hint* *nudge* *nudge*. Which leads me to that question. Should I lose sleep and haul ass home, fit everyone in, then haul ass back late late Saturday night/early Sunday morning? I wouldn't be able to drink. Eh, the sacrifices we all make. At least my group project will be done, and i'll just have to worry about studying after that (and volunteering)... Everyone's been really good at getting a hold of me and making time to see me. I really appreciate it. This is what I would have missed if they took me now (or actually then). Guess things do happen for a reason. I really like this. Of course, it should have been this way the entire time--but life does tend to get in the way. Options are open. Taking it one day at a time. We'll see how things go, take it from there. That's what i've been telling myself. That's why some things have worked the way they have, and some haven't. I hope it all works out in the end, and i'll be happier with the route I have chosen...my "path" will eventually be easier to handle (at least i'll get a grip on things). Just a few more months.... -------- I guess I didn't say it, my wrist is sprained and I don't know how I did it. They say it could because of an old injury and the weather. Woke up Sunday morning and it hurt like hell. Had it wrapped up since the other day. Still hurts. Hope it heals by tomorrow, I wanna lift...

Happy Birthday to one of my bestest friends!!!

Happy Birthday Lan!! It's yo' birthday girl! I know we already celebrated, and if I could...my ass would be up there tonight! But yay, you're finally 30! Some say we have reached our peak, the time of our lives even. I personally say that's another way to say that we're old (and your birthday is just another reminder that in 3 months i'll be even older =P). But whatever, we have reached another decade! I hope our 30s are way better than our 20s. As you know, we've been through hell and back, through boys, you and the little ones, and me through school and moving...and we're still standing strong. We've made some great choices, and some really bad ones...but at least now we can look back and laugh and say--what the hell were we thinking?? We've moved out and been on our own for a little while now, and it might be hard but we're still doin it (and doing it rather well I might add). We might not see each other as much as we'd like, but we still make time and talk to each other practically every day! We've been through some really great times girl! Had to drop some people along the way (their loss me thinks), but no matter what happened we've always stayed strong. I'm very thankful for that. You are one of the strongest women I know, and i'm very proud of who you have become. Yeah, i'll hopefully be working on my masters soon and be off on the other side of the country...but when you finish your undergrad, you can bet my ass will be there with bells on yelling my head off (just like you did for me). (Or when anything happens really.) We have been through so much, and we still got more to go. I just wanted to wish you a happy happy birthday!! After your parents come back and my volunteering ends (and school calms down) we're gonna go drinking (you daymn alcoholic!), and we gonna celebrate your 30-ness again! Happy birthday girl!! I luv ya! *HUG*

Restless days, and sleepless nights...

So I haven't really had a good nights rest in a long long time. Yes, insomnia has been kicking in (I have no idea why). So last night after chit chatting with Keesey I've decided to bring my once thought to be impossible goal back... Some of you might remember that I said I wanted to look like this... Now the goal is this... Check out the girls arms! I'm not quite there, but i'm getting there. Gotta cut my abs down, and cut a inch off my ass. I'm thinking training for the race will help me reach my goal. So yeah, original goal is back on! Maybe now i'll be able to sleep at night, well, after long days at work, studying into the wee hours of the night, or working out till I can't give anymore. I. Will. Get. There. The only question will be, once the race is over...what next? Then again, where will I be? Maybe this is why I can't sleep...too many questions in my head...

Beautiful wishes, and happy days...

First of all I would like to wish Dale a happy happy birthday!!! It's a no gym day, with whatever you wanna eat/do kinda day man! And i'd like to let you know that I have the bestest cousin ever! Roger is the man! He opened up my glove box and freed my radio face plate!! YES! Music in my car once again!! (I know LA, no radio?? You must be insane?!?!) He's gonna look for the replacement part for me, so I just might not have to pay for it...or as much for it. He also got me a parking spot over at school. See I have the best family, he comes to me to fix my car problems/issues. Those people must have been looking at us all crazy, he parks, I go behind him, he pulls out, I park. Niceness. Oh and he also hooked me up with a spam musobe maker he got from Longs in Hawaii. Now i'll be able to make them and not have them break on me. =) So yeah, things are good, and I think I did really good on my test the other night too *cross-fingers*. Other than that...I really wish people would listen to me, or take what I have to say at face value. I think that's my only gripe for the moment. They either have selective hearing, or just make up their own interpretation of the words that are coming out of my mouth (or emails, or im's that I type up). It's just so frustrating. But whatever, i'll get over it--I always do... So yeah, happy day Dale! Whoooo ha!! =)

Sitting alone in my corner...

Have you ever felt like you're tired of reaching, and always being the one to reach out? I know everyone has a million and one things to do (I know I do), but I'm always the first one to take the first step... Lately i've been feeling like i'm always looking for a way out. You know, you get to this place...you're there, you like what's around you. Something happens, triggers some negative feeling that only you feel, then the insecurities sink in. Of course you're the only one who feels this way, it's not triggered by anything that anyone said to you, or did. It's just something in your mind that popped up, possibly out of your imagination... I find myself always doing that, maybe it's just a self-defense that likes to be show it's ugly head every now and again, and again. I reach, I pull back, reach, pull back, reach, pull back...you get the picture. You take out one element, substitute with new element, rinse, repeat. Sometimes I feel like I go to this level, then I start suffocating...release, repeat. It's like i'm making myself go through all this "drama", but it's only in my head. I'm always afraid that my fears will become my reality, and that will always be the thing that hurts the most...

Those were the days...

These are some pic's prior digi cam years (yeah I've been snapping pic's for a while now), not the best quality--but i'm finally getting around to getting all my pictures scanned. This is Shannie, one of my bestest friends. More to come when I get around to it... Enjoy!

One down, a hell of lot more to go...

Lan told me this morning that she's doing the run with me. HELL YEAH! She made me so happy. I have a semi-training partner now, and the good thing is we're doing this together (bad habits and all--with my exception of long long drives home). But anyway, yes, that made my morning. =) We're gonna train together when i'm home, so come November and December i'm not slacking on vacation. grrrrrr, it's for a good cause I know (and I know my Auntie is looking down on me and smiling). Body is in pain from over working out from the weekend, I know I know--i'm going to slow down and pace myself. So hard to do when i'm going fast forward, but i'll slow it down from this point on. My abs are friken hurting me, but as most of you know i'm so into abs (mostly on guys) and i've been trying to get a 4 pac (at the very least) for years--I think they're finally coming through. =) So yeah, eh...happy monday all?

Helping out...

So some of you may know that with my classes I have to volunteer, today was my second day. It was rather interesting and I think the women are opening up to me. It gave me that cheery-all-over-good feeling that I have been lacking as of late. Seeing the faces on the women after serving them lunch or helping them out, or just chillin with them after their "computer" classes or whatever they do was nice. They were even talking to me about stupid little things going on, one of them noticed my hawaiian jewelry and that i'm from the islands (since I lived there I can say that--unlike some people who've never stepped a foot yet still claim.) I didn't really feel like going this morning, but as soon as I got there I felt really good about being there. The other volunteers are making me feel welcomed, and I was actually in charge of some things today (which made me feel better about being there). It was just nice, they all welcomed me...I felt like I was a part of something bigger. I left feeling a whole lot lighter, and in the end I was glad I went. I guess this whole volunteering has gotten me on this helping out kick. I even sent out an email to all my friends and family to see who wants to participate in the LA Breast Cancer Run/Walk in February. I'm gonna do it regardless if anyone does it with me or not. I even started training this weekend. This of course will only work if I quit my bad habit, or seriously cut down (which I already started to do). One of the volunteers said she'll sponser me. So yeah, once I start my training and sign up i'll be hittin ya'll up for donations. ;) Although my legs are in pain, I feel daymn good. Normally i'll work out once or twice a week, most of the time it's just step and lift...but seeing that I didn't get to the gym early enough to lift, I opted to go on Saturday and lift and run. That run just sucked big beans--probably shouldn't have done my bad habit, but I can't help it--it's addicting! So after volunteering I decided to go for a quick run. That run kicked ass, I even went overboard (of course I have my "mini-breaks" but that's only for a quick gulp of water, then I keep on going. I wanna be able to run straight through before I take on the Rose Bowl, but I will get there sometime soon (i'm hoping to enlist the help of Kinjamin with training, or at least running around the bowl every week). That would be really nice, otherwise i'll eventually make my way out there...on a not so hot southern california day. (I would so melt.) So yeah, this whole volunteering thing has actually made me go out and start doing things. I'm no longer just talking about eventually doing anything, i'm gonna do it. I wanted to do a lot of things, but i'm going to be reasonable this time around. Just like with school, i'm going to do things that are attainable (not so easy mind you, takes a lot of hard work to get whatever I want--that's always to be expected). Anyways ya'll get where i'm going with this, i'm not trying to preach or anything...it's just I like this good feeling I have inside (I wanna keep feeling this way). So I imagine that once I get my MSW i'll have this constant good feeling because i'll be trying to make tons of dents (I know I won't save the world--but i'm going to try my best too dammit!!). That's always been one of my goals, well it's actually to take over the world (but I have long since given up on that). Anyways, Emmy's is on...I want Jennifer Aniston to win. She be looking hot tonight!

Happy days, and things to save up for...

So for some reason i've been really happy (like bouncing up and down on my chair kind of happy). It's a Shannie night! Whooo hoooo! Victor might come along, but whatever he's one of the girls (j/k Victor--you're hella cool). I miss those days when your girlies or your boys call you out of the blue and ask you to hang with them. Well actually I take that back, that has been happening to me (not really out of the blue--kinda planned, but not). It just makes me so happy to be around my loved ones. *sigh* It's so rare for me since everyone has their own lives, work, and/or significant others (and it's really cool when the significant other likes to chill with your friends--makes them even better). You know, getting older isn't much fun...sometimes I wonder why I was in such a rush... And did you all know that Cingular has done away with the technicians in the store? So if you have problems with your phone (and I have a few minor probs), you have to send it away! It would help if they stated that on the website so you don't look like a dumb ass when you swing by the closest store (since they're too lazy to pick up the daymn phones!!). So I have decided that since I have a year left on my contract ima save up for a new beauteous Nokia. I'm not exactly sure which one I want, but I'll think of something...and i'm thinking of going to T-Mobile (since Verizon phones suck ass). Oh and another thing, for all you ipod owners. NEVER EVER hook your ipod up to a mac if it's already formatted for a pc (or vice versa), I wasted several hours re-formating and re-updating my ipod last night. Man oh man, my beautiful little ipod didn't know what to do with itself! It kept rejecting everything, or in the middle of updating all my songs it would quit (or in the middle of sycn'n my contacts/calendar). I think she feels abused or something. But all is good once again, she is fully updated with songs, playlists, contacts, notes and calendar. =) Ahhhh yes, success. So yeah, it's Friday!!! Hope you all have a most beauteous day & weekend! =) *mwah*

Realizations are a bitch...

Sometimes they gotta hit you in the face (or you gotta run into it full force) to even notice what's going on. I should listen to myself more. Don't get me wrong, I listen for the most part...but when it comes to carefully guarded parts--I never listen. I always think, oh eventually things will start poppin--nope wrong!! Should have went with my instincts. Sometimes I get so mad at myself!! I lecture myself sometimes, I should do that more (maybe then it'll sink in). As one of my friends told me "if you never make the journey you can't appreciate the destination." My response was, why do I always have to make my journey so daymn complicated?? Eh, time...stupid time, I know I know--I hear you. Eventually. In other news, I got a 90 on my quiz. Hell yeah! I'm focusing on school more (this time around), and since I know i'm capable of doing good...yes, I will continue this pattern in hopes of obtaining the 4.0 I so desperately need. I know I have options when it comes to what institute of higher learning I will eventually attend (with everything really). And although I dream of freezing winters and a different atmosphere all together, I will still keep in mind my sun shiny bay area home. So we shall see. I'm open to whatever life will throw my way (not that I wasn't--I was just limiting myself). So yeah, door is wide open. We'll see what happens now won't we? Just don't get in my way. ;)

It's all the questions...

That's actually part of a line from one of my favorite movies...Love Jones. If you haven't ever watched that, you should, I highly recommend it. Lately all of the lines have been going though my mind, I was going to go through my archives and re-post some of the lines, but I've done that enough. I'm sure if you wanted to, you can do the search on your own. =) Why do I like that line? It makes the most sense, why do we do anything? If we didn't question anything then we're just settling for whatever life gives us, and i'm not about to do that. What motivates you? What makes you want to do anything? What makes me want to go to school so badly? Why do I want to move cross country? I've been thinking about that a lot lately. People say you're motivated by certain people, or things...for me it's the latter. I've always wanted to have another degree, I think it's cool. And well, I want to do some good in this world, and I feel that i'll have a better chance if I go some place that i've always wanted to live...it's not the easiest path to take (seeing that i've lived most of my adult life out on the west side). I could just as easily go back to the bay, move back home, commute to S.F. or go to Berkeley (but I'd get an apt if I were to go there). It just seems to easy for me. I need a challenge. Why is it with me I have to try to do the toughest rode possible? Not impossible mind you, just the hardest rode, or the hardest path I could think of. I never try to do the easy route (well maybe in undergrad I did), now that I've had a taste of doing the nearly impossible...I want to do more. It's as if i'm never satisfied. I see my friends, and see what each and every one of them are going through...sometimes I want that. Sometimes I just want to go home. But I won't, not unless something happens that would make me change my mind entirely...but that better be a daymn good reason. I've been questioning everything lately. I even wonder why some people do some things. Motivations. Some things I just can't understand, even though I try to see things at different angles, I just don't get it. I've been going in different directions all at once. Impossible? I think not. My head hasn't been spinning out of control, my mind has been going at different speeds in different directions. Question after question, trying to reason myself into or out of things. I sound crazy, yes? Sometimes i'm sure of myself, other times I get so scared. A lot of the time I want to go home, sit in my old room and just veg...but I know I can't, I have to just try...see what else is out there. I think i've exhausted all the possibilities out here in LA. It's all getting to me. The only thing saving me from my personal hell is school (and Shannon)...down here that is. I have a million and one reasons to go home (then again, maybe I won't be so skinny since they're always feeding me). I'll admit it, I have entertained the thought...it's just too easy (maybe one day--who knows). I don't know, too much going on in my head. Of course I have doubts, everyone does. It's scary, the whole possibility of going to Grad School. Moving. Everything, and nothing all at the same time. I feel like i'm moving, but i'm standing still. One foot in front of the other, trying not to fall down. I wonder if anyone would catch me if I fall.

Happy Birthday Blog!!

It's been two years! You all have seen me through my ups and downs, all the good times, and even some of my worst moments. Through template changes, color changes, and additions. All my rants and raves about my things goings on, or my random thoughts, or movie lines or lyrics. Ahh, so much i've gone though this past year--I can't even believe it. So thanks for coming along for the ride, who knows what's next. So yay, happy birthday my little blog! *mwah*

It's been three years...

These were taken on my last visit to Jersey/NYC. They re-opened the Path's WTC station a few months earlier, so Phil took us there before we headed back to Jersey that night. It was kind of overwhelming, we were all silent as I wandered the station taking pictures of everything. You can just feel the energy, it was depressing/dismal/morose...you just felt it in the air. It was freezing, but as we walked the station it seemed to get colder with each step. So today, let's all remember 9/11, and remember what sparked the fire...

My Hero Is You

-Hayden Panettiere You know I try to be, All that I can. But there's a part of me, I still don't understand. Why do I always want, What I don't have. When in reality, It's really not that bad. Your faith has shown me that. When my world goes crazy, You won't let go. When the ground gets shaky, You kept me hope. When I try to push you away, You never move. Now when I start doubtin', You help me see. You believe there ain't nothing I can't do. my hero is you. yeah My hero is you. ---------------- I've been searching for the lyrics to this song for months (okay, maybe one month), and i've been trying to get a copy of this song too. Something about it just struck me really hard. I know, I know...it's a Disney song (teeny bopper at that), I don't care--I know what I like, and when i'm determined...I get what I want. I wanted the daymn lyrics and I FINALLY got them. Yeah, whatever (I know i'm mental), I don't care what you think of me right now--i'm happy. Lyrics just speak to me. Some people are too busy doing their daily that they don't hear the words (or notice things that are around them). I'll stop and listen, especially when I become intrigued by one line (or two). Either that or i'm just a good listener, I can hear things when people don't think I can (blame that one on my mom). So when I become "intrigued" i'll do what I can to either get what I want, or learn more about it. Either way it'll come to me (eventually), or just happen--its just a matter of time...

Crazy days, and restless nights.

So my schedule has been topsy turvey these past few weeks. Being up early for work then going to class at night, or my one work out day, or my dinners w/ shan, or study nights...it's been a lot to take. I'm trying to make some extra time for me so I can go to the gym, or hang with friends...lately it's been the later (but well worth it =) [I love you guys!]). Lately, if I don't have to study (or I can rationalize myself out of studying) I tend to veg out in front of the computer (chatting, msg board, blogs/lj's, or updating my own). Sometimes I stay up TOO late (daymn photo page)!! I tend to stay up late every night, if it's not on the computer--i'm studying. I know that's what i'm supposed to be doing, but i'm not making my 12:00 cutoff. Most of the time I hit the hay at 2:00 or close to, which results in me waking up grumpy every day for work (hit the snooze--sleep for 10 more minutes). I have a tendency to perfect everything i'm working on till it's completed (or where I want it for now), then move on to something else. I can't just let something sit knowing that something is wrong with it, i must make it EXACTLY as I want it (otherwise i'll pull out my hair--or wake up in the middle of the morning and fix it). urrgghhh, I know...my "perfectionism" will be my demise, at least my attempt to. Must find some balance. Need more sleep. How the hell did I do this in college?

Girls Weekend aka Lani's Birthday Weekend

So I spent my long holiday w/ these two ladies... It started off Friday night, well early Saturday morning (like around 4am)...and we took it from there. I pretty much took shots of everything we did [with the exception of Yard House & Crazy Horse--we were Dancing Queens Lan & I--Val was our Princess], so if you wanna check those out click here!! So as you can see, we celebrated Lan's 30th birthday all weekend long. Well, early that is...since I won't be around to celebrate on her actual birthday (and she won't be able to anyway). We walked around Venice Beach, drank at the Yard House, danced our asses off at Crazy Horse (poor boys were too scared to come up, *snap* we still got it--and those girls must have been crazy if they thought they were gonna push us out of our spot), we witnessed a fight after dancing the alcohol away, ate at Roscoe's, drank it up at TJ's, dinner w/ Ron at Peohe's, lunch at Alberto's & almost got into a car accident on our way back to my place this afternoon. A fun filled three-day weekend as you can see. So yeah, spread all that out over 2.5 days and you got our weekend. I have leftovers for the entire week! Thanks everyone! Oh and the accident...I HATE LA drivers. Especially the punks that don't bother looking before changing lanes, I almost hit the wall...good thing for those fast reflexes of mine. I'm just glad that everyone behind us slowed down so I could pull over and re-start the car. Yes, I had to slam on the brakes so hard that they locked, and I was fishtailing all over the place. But we're all okay, and live to tell the tale. Just don't get a Nissan Sentra rental, that thing sucked big beans...locking breaks--that wasn't safe. Anyway, i'm pretty tired...and I got my first quiz tomorrow night. So off I am to eat, then study my butt off. Hope you all had a good weekend! **edit: Check what I can do with my camera - *click* *click*

Happiness is in the eye of the beholder.

So i've had my ups and downs, and lately...i've been on the up and up. (Sounds so gay--I know.) Things have just been good. School started, and even though i'm seriously tired (like every night)...i'm getting it. For the first time in my life, i'm loving school (and everything is sinking in). I even got all my extra's for class set up (I made sure I had that lined up before anything). My schedule looks tough, and I won't be able to go home (or anywhere for that matter) till Thanksgiving. But it's okay, I know my people understand my situation...and even though i'm not around--my phone is turned on 24/7 (and sometimes IM is on too--even if i'm not heheheh). So the long weekend is upon us, and i'm leaving early. The girls will be invading my space all weekend long. I can't wait! Gotta clean & study--you know daymn well I won't be allowed to study while they're here. But yeah, I can't wait. Girlie time is always a must (even if we don't act like girlies--I know I'm more manly than anything). And no, we're not gonna get in our pj's and have a pillow fight, and no the web cam WON'T be turned on if we do. hahahaha Have a good one guys! Happy friday!!! Lan's gonna test out her new cam, so yes even more pictures!!! =) *MWAH*

Random Thoughts...

This was stolen from Bumblebootie... "I really like people who wear their hearts on their sleeves because I hate having to feel around in the dark for zippers I have to unzip and buttons I have to undo and ribcages I have to smash through just to find what they mean and what they feel." Why do I like that? Because I like doing that (it's a nice concept), even though most of the time my heart can't decide on where she wants to be. Sometimes she wants to be out there--but other times she likes to be under lock and key...she's really moody most of the time. I think she's just scared to feel (probably cause she always get's torn up every time she does), either that or just numb to all that is around her. I know one of these days i'll figure it all out, but for now i'm kinda in limbo...and you know, limbo ain't that bad.

The Ben & M.J. weekend...

So all this weekend I was hangin out with these two fellas... It started out Friday night, and ended today when we dropped off M.J. at the airport. I'm really glad that we all hung out, ate, chilled, drank, saw Hero, drank, chilled, watched the Olympics, drank. I haven't had that much alcohol in a long time, thanks guys! I'm glad I have the ability to finish a boones (I haven't done that in a long ass time). But yeah, it's funny how you don't realize who your friends are till years and years later...it's also great how some friendships grow (even with people who you've never really thought would). But yeah, i'm realizing how great some of my friends are (even if you don't hang out with them all the time--they're still there for you). It was just great not having to "act" a certain way cause this or that...it's like you can completely let your guard down and open up--cause you all understand where you're coming from. I just thought that was really cool. And here's some pic's from my weekend with the boys: *click* *click* So yeah, it was great. Ya'll had me laughing my ass off, and I realized some things about myself too...it was just great. So yeah, next time i'm in the bay M.J. (and you don't go home) we're gonna hang. Ben you come too. Lan will come, and we'll all be out drinked by her. haha I love my friends. I'm glad ya'll are still around (even when I go psycho on some of you), if I could I would give you all a hug right now. But since I can't, I guess ya'll will have to wait till I see you next (which will have to wait till the semesters over [for the east coasters--bay area heads...eh, Thanksgiving? Holidays?])...we'll see. Just know that no matter what, i'm here--ya'll know how to get a hold of me. =) *MWAH*

Back to school & other things...

So the wait is finally over, I got the classes I wanted. whooo ha! One I got on a pure "technicality," the other I got 'cause people don't want to (or can't) do the extra work, or they just simply didn't show up. Either way I don't care, I got my classes! So far I'm pretty much booked for the semester, and when my professor okay's my volunteer site--I'm going to be over booked. I already made friends, and am in groups for the "group projects" that will eventually happen. Man oh man, so much to do...but to be quite honest, I like it. I feel right at home in my Intro to Social Work Class, but in my Policing Society Class...I feel so old. I know for a fact that I AM the oldest in that class. The other one, I think I'm part of the "average". Either way, at least I don't look like it...I tend to "blend" well. Ahh, nice to be pinay. Anyway, this break has turned into something bigger since I was having problems logging back in after updating to SP2 (bastards)...but after talking to one of my "techies," I'm back on via wireless baby! Thank you kindly Rob, you know your sh*t. Okay, gotta get back to the books. School is good, I feel old--yet this studying is more fun this time around (I'm sure that'll change when I get into Grad School)--I am after all just taking two classes (undergrad/upper div at that). So yeah, back to the books...gotta make my 12:00 cutoff!!

HealthWatch: Sugary Soda May Lead to Diabetes

Dr. Kim Mulvihill Many Americans love to drink soda. But a new study suggests that women who drink sugar-sweetened sodas are more likely to develop diabetes. Harvard researchers reviewed data from a national survey involving 50,000 young and middle-aged women. They looked at what beverages these women drank over the course of nine years, and whether they gained weight or developed diabetes. "Women who were drinking sugar-sweetened soft drinks every day, or more than once a day, had an 80% increase in risk of diabetes compared with women who hardly ever drank sugared sodas," said Dr. Meir Stampfer of the Harvard School for Public Health. Researchers say sugar-sweetened drinks are high in calories, but you most likely won't feel full after drinking them. That means you can drink a lot, and the sodas -- which contain high fructose corn syrup -- may actually encourage diabetes to develop. "The sugared soft drinks are very rapidly absorbed and they cause a sharp up-swing in blood sugar, which causes a sharp increase in insulin production, and then this causes the blood sugar to go down," said Stampfer. Researchers call the cycle a recipe for diabetes, a potentially devastating disease. "This is not rocket science. If you're taking in calories, especially calories in the form of sugared soft drinks that have no other nutrient value, it's not at all surprising that you'd see weight gain," Stampfer said. The researchers found that diet soda and real fruit juice did not cause an increased risk of diabetes. A soft drink trade group says the study's conclusions are not scientifically sound, and that an unhealthy lifestyle -- not soda -- leads to weight gain and diabetes. article ------------------------ Good thing I hardly drink soda, water & coffee are my friends. And yes, diabetes runs in my family...so anything I can do to stay away (besides my love for sugar in my coffee & ice tea) i'll do. I know, i'm working on those other things! *covers ears and runs away* Easier said than done (just like smoking, or my love for fatty foods).

I am what I am...

L: Hi Fresh Meat Me: hi bastard. L: =P Me: hehehe L: heheh L: put that in your blog Me: =P L: you are "FRESH MEAT"

Strong Enough

I have a face I cannot show I make the rules up as I go So try and love me if you can Are you strong enough to be my man? -Sheryl Crow

Random "IRC" moments from back in the day....

Fun with the webcam...

First there's this: *click* Then these: Yes, i am a dork.

Patterson wins all-around gold

By Greg Boeck, USA TODAY ATHENS � Don't call her the next Mary Lou Retton anymore. Carly Patterson made a name for herself Thursday. She's the Golden Girl of gymnastics now Carly Patterson competes in the floor exercise, scoring the highest of this competition � 9.712. Right in front of Russian diva Svetlana Khorkina, the pony-tailed princess of the burgeoning U.S. women's gymnastics program turned into a queen at Olympic Indoor Hall. Inspired by fellow American Paul Hamm's magical comeback in winning gold Wednesday in the men's all-around, Patterson overcame a shaky eighth-place start after the vault to match Retton's 1984 Olympic gold in the women's all-around. "It's a new era," bellowed Bela Karoyli, the coach who turned Retton into the U.S.'s first all-around Olympic champion in 1984. " It's a new chapter in American gymnastics." Added Martha Karolyi, U.S. team coordinator: "This is Carly's coming out." The page officially turned with Patterson, 16, celebrating atop her coach's shoulders and Khorkina, 25 and competing in her third and final Olympics, waving to the crowd as she left the floor, beaten by .176 points. Patterson, from Allen, Texas, totaled 38.387 in the four events and Khorkina 38.211. China's Nan Zhang won bronze (38.049). Courtney Kupets of Gaithersburg, Md., finished ninth, obviously hampered by a muscle pull in her right leg. Khorkina, who beat Patterson out of the gold at last year's world championships in Anaheim, Calif., relinquished her throne reluctantly, if not defiantly. "I'm still Olympic champion," said Khorkina, the three-time world all-around champion who has won two Olympic golds in bars. Asked to explain, she added, "I'm saying I'm twice an Olympic champion. If somebody doesn't know, I was an Olympic champion in Atlanta and Sydney." But that was then, and this is now. Patterson, sitting next to her in the interview room, looked quizzically at the rival she beat, then turned away and smiled. This was her moment, her time, her stage and no one could take it away now. "I don't even know what to say right now I'm so happy," she said. "I've dreamed of this my whole life. It's amazing." So was she. Patterson came into the competition the top qualifier, but she displayed uncharacteristic cracks in her armor with sub-par showings in the vault and bars in the U.S.'s silver effort in the team finals two nights earlier. Then she opened the all-around with a crooked landing on the vault and a score of 9.375 that placed her eighth. Her coach, Evgeny Marchenko, took her aside. "I told her, 'It's OK,'" he said. "It's only the beginning. Don't worry about scores, keep working." The pressure was on, but Patterson rose to the top of the U.S. program with pressure performances. She embraced the challenge, and tore a page out of Hamm's golden comeback. "I know about Paul Hamm's story and his comeback," she said. "And I knew if I could hit the best routines I would have a chance." She moved into fourth with a 9.575 score on bars, then put Khorkina in her rearview mirror with a stunning 9.725 on the beam. That set the stage for the final event of the night, the floor exercise which is one of her strengths. She watched Khorkina score a 9.562 and prance off. Patterson had to wait through two more performers. That left her as the final competitor on the floor, a pressure-cooker position with the gold on the line. She needed 9.573 to win, and she nailed a nearly flawless 9.712. "She proved she's the one who can handle the pressure," said Marchenko. When the winning score flashed on the scoreboard overhead, she leaped into Marchenko's arms and cried. "There was a lot of emotion there," he said. "It's been a tough, long road." Patterson emerged from the pack of U.S. women gymnasts the last 18 months and drew comparisons to Retton from Martha Karolyi. She arrived at the Games with her leaping split on 70 million McDonald bags � and delivered the goods Thursday. "She loves the crowd," said Kupets. "She is so mentally tough," said Martha Karolyi. The clutch performance left her casting her own shadow in gymnastics. "This means a whole lot," she said. "I worked all my life to be an Olympic champion. All the work paid off." It paid off on the biggest stage in the world, against Khorkina, one of the most decorated gymnasts in history with five Olympic and 20 world medals won in her career. Marchenko soaked in the moment. "It's sweet revenge," he said. "We've been waiting all year to do this. I know Svetlana is a great gymnast. She made a statement in the world forever. But Carly said her words tonight." They rang loud and clear. And royally. USA Today - Article ----------------------------- She did it! I saw her on vault, uneven, balance beam, floor....but I passed out before I saw who got what. YES! This IS my favorite event at the Olympics, and I had to fall asleep. Anyway, congratulations Carly! Whoooo hoooooo! Nicely done! =)

Accidents DO happen....

Yeah, especially when you're shaving blind. Man! This morning...blood everywhere in the shower, and it kept stinging and stinging. ARGH!! And i've been having problems typing all day... I guess it doesn't really matter since our network was down at work (again--didn't kick back in till 3 p.m. [thank god]). Besides, after lunch all I was doing was playing with my cam. ;) And since I can't really type, look what I did... That was taken the night before I left the bay, and started my life down in Southern California. ahhhhh, the memories...

i'm stronger than i look..

but when you hit that spot, i'll bleed...or break down (either one really). i used to think i was invincible, that no one could break down the walls that i created...i would cry for no one. but you know, the older i get...the more emotional i have become. sucks i tell you. my body has been breaking down too, i have sprained my ankle at least once for the past 2 or 3 years...and i got a charlie horse after running sometime last year. i found out this year that my cholesterol is getting a tiny bit high, and i'll eventually get diabetes since it runs in my family (and i love that sugar in my coffee). maybe in highschool i would cry after every boy that broke my "heart", then in college i started to define anything that had to do with the heart as a "concept". i think that has carried on to today. it's a very well guarded part of me, and good thing too...people like to try to rip it apart. maybe that's why i am the way i am now, especially with my friends. i try to protect them, i won't lie to them...i like being straight with them (now). if something is really bothering me now, i'll say it (i'll watch my verbage of course, but in the end i'll get my point across). but i'm very loyal to those that i consider friends, especially my best friends and good friends. nothing can come between that...nothing. that of course makes me sensitive to everything...so if somethings going on with them, i try to make sure they know i'm there for them (no matter what--distance means nothing to me!) and if i think somethings wrong between us, then i'll try to fix whatever it is (even if really there's nothing--it's my daymn imagination i tell you). so lately i think i've been on "ultra-sensitivity mode", i don't know why...it just started popping up lately. all my insecurities have started to surface, and i know i'm faulty (i'm working on it), my "paranoidness" has started setting in...i'm learning how to "let go" of things. sometimes i feel that it get's too much, i start to get "emotional" (no you bastards...it's not PMS). it's hard to explain, sometimes i just want to shut everyone out--other times i want to let everyone in. but no matter what, i have learned to speak my mind. sometimes i feel like i'm ganging up on someone, being too sensitive to things that i think are going on--but at the same time i feel like i'm pushing them away while doing that. maybe i do that on purpose (not a test or anything), it's just i have to make sure (otherwise it'll just eat at me to no end). it's weird really. but just know that i'm working on it. it's really hard when my imagination starts playing tricks on me, i have these vivid dreams with some people (to the point that i start questioning if these things happened--or not--or if they're "premonitions" [which really scares me]). hard to explain really. i start to distance myself, or bring myself closer, or stay in the middle. sometimes i feel like a yo-yo. sometimes i think i'm doing it to find a way out (even when i know i'm still in it). i guess i've had to much time on my hands (can't wait till school starts--half a week to go!) i don't know. it's usually just easier to let things go, completely. shut the door. walk away. but for some reason, i can't walk. something holds me to where i am. i'm on pause. but at the same time, i'm doing new things. trying to open up, but remembering the past (trying not to make those same mistakes). but while remembering everything, little things here and there start to re-surface and those insecurities start to pop up here and there. i know, i've been through a lot--everyone has. these past few years have been really trying on the soul. but, i am still standing...and i'm going for my goals (as most of you know i'm very goal oriented). i might not be all together here, and some of you might think i've completely lost my mind. yes, i do think the worst (and i'll come up with the worst possible senario)...it's just that it's been really bad, and every time i made a bet with myself on something bad--it comes true. well maybe i haven't won all the bets i made with myself, but a good number of them i have. those that i lost, i have learned to let go...those that i won, well...still working on it. that's when the yo-yo set's in, and it starts my never ending cycle. but seeing that i'm still around, still on my own, and my ankle's haven't been sprained lately...i think for the most part, i'm alright. i've learned to live with some things, other things i have sadly let go. but the things that i have now, i hold dear to. i will protect everything and everyone as much as i can. i might be silent, i might just watch. but when i speak, please listen. sometimes i don't even have to say a word--just hear me out. don't talk over me, don't push me out of your way, and don't push me. don't give me a label, i've already given myself one. i'm figuring things out for myself, and i'm trying to not break me in the process (nothing else has). so yeah, i am stronger than i look. i'm finally realizing that. my silver lining is starting to appear. i'm just taking it day by day. i still have hope, i hold that the dearest...above all else.

ROSCOE'S!!

that was the best shot from the night (after all the testing we did with her during the night). we tried night mode, but regular mode w/ timer worked pretty daymn good right? so yeah, this was my first night to use my little pentax. she rocks man! wanna see more? *click* *click* so yeah, i'm pretty daymn full. roscoe's was not good for my cholesterol, but the company was so good...and i met YANO! i'm really glad you came out & had our "traditional" la "irc" din din. so it was a most lovely night for myself. good conversation, and tons of laughs. man, we might not be irc'n any more, but we're still meeting years later! ha! so thanks guys for comin out & thanks for testing my new cam out w/ me!

when your imagination takes over your mind...

and you can't separate it from reality (or don't want to)...then you're in trouble. do you ever think up situations and start believing them to be true (like your imagination would create images--weird ass images/made you cry images)? i was doing that for the past few months. thinking the worst situation possible, and then i started to believe them to be true. but the more i go on, i find that none of it was true. i just have a problem of thinking the worst possible situation, and sometimes (well at least they used to) come true. someone told me...if you think it, it will happen. so i'm going to try to think of positive thoughts. *sends good vibes out* i mean, to some point that is possible...but in my case it takes a lot of hard work and good vibes to make anything happen. but that is my theme isn't it? my destiny = making things happen (no matter what). it's just weird how i let all those different "images" take control of what was reality. then i went and told some people about these said "images" and they encouraged me to go the other way (not deal--fly far away), after all not like there was anything really "there" *shrug* (or maybe they just wanted me to open up another door). i don't know. it's just weird how some things panned out. maybe the next time "images" start poppin in i won't go to everyone else, and just the one the "images" are about. *shrug* sometimes i don't know about what people say to me (like they have an ulterior motive)...the ones that don't know me that well that is. then again sometimes the ones that do know me sometimes say the oddest things that throw me off even more. i don't know. i'm probably just babbling. or maybe when i have questions, i should just ask...or when i have problems (instead of questioning myself or asking for advice) i'll just go straight to the source (cut off the middle man) and deal. that seems to work, well at least lately. it's just sometimes my mind can play the weirdest tricks on me, and i'll just start believing them to be true...no matter how hard i try to fight it (it still does).

after you put everything in perspective...

you start having the time of your life. thanks to everyone who stuck by me (especially when i went all psycho/depressed/blah). *hug*

you make me feel so beautiful...

beautiful -faith hill (Spoken:) I love the way you stand in my way You won't move 'til you get a kiss And how you tell me that my name It tastes so sweet on your lips I love the way you hold me with your eyes Hold me so tight that I can't move It's like everything I've ever known is a lie And you're the simple truth Is it a dream or is it real? All I know is you make me feel so beautiful, beautiful, beautiful You make me feel so beautiful (Feel like I could fly) Beautiful (cross the clear blue sky) Beautiful (Baby I could cry) You make me feel so beautiful (Spoken:) I love how soft you touch my skin Like you're touching the wings of a butterfly I wish we could just lock ourselves away in a room Where there was no such thing as time I've never let anyone get this close I've always been afraid But you break down every wall and I feel so safe Every part of who I am Is so in love cause what I have is beautiful Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful You make me feel so beautiful (Feel like I could fly) Beautiful (cross the clear blue sky) Beautiful (Baby I could cry) You make me feel so beautiful Beautiful... You make me feel so beautiful (When you touch my face) Beautiful (When you say my name) Beautiful (Always find the way) You make me feel so Beautiful ----------------- a lot has to do with my imagination, but you know...things come and go in my mind. (even though these things that go on in my mind have never actually happened--its just one of many things i think about.) little things that happen make me smile, and i hold dear to those little things. i know things haven't been that great for me, but i'm trying to find the silver lining to everything...i think i found it (or am getting closer to it). but i do feel better...taking it day by day. school starts next week. i'm really looking forward to it. time's gonna pass with a quickness, and before you know it...i'll be re-applying to east coast schools (well just one re-apply--the others i'm still debating on). so far 2004 has had it's up's and downs...but i'm also getting closer to all my friends (both here and there), i'm really liking that part about this year. i wish i had more money, so i could do a trip out east...but i don't have any time till next year (so i'm better off saving money for when i go check out apts and all that). man. i just wanna get out of la, just tired of it...and i'm not ready to go home yet. a masters would be nice, then i could finally do something that i want to do...not just something that i kind of fell into. i'm liking the person in the mirror more and more. maybe i was just experiencing "cabin fever", or perhaps i was just tired of doing nothing (going absolutely no where). i'm glad i'm taking this next step. i'm finally doing things for me, not just for the money either...for me. i know, i'm babbling. i'm just glad i have everyone that's around me. i miss you all so very much, and i look forward to seeing everyone (hopefully very soon). school schedule's gonna screw me up--so patience please...just know that everyone is in my thoughts.... *mwah* & *HUG*

babygirls back...

babygirls ass looks daymn good! the dude who hit me, did a good job. she's hot once again! whoooo ha! --------------- i've been playing with my new toy...pentax optio s4 *sigh* she is friken hot! so i must thank louie for telling me about his sis's cam. so thin! fits even in my smallest purse! she rocks! i'll be testing her out on tuesday when we all have dinner with yano. --------------- and i started a new workout schedule. hehehe daymn school is interrupting with my workout schedule, so i gotta work around it. i started this week (also they're re-doing the aerobics room floor so step is cancelled for 2 weeks), so i've been running my ass off and lifting again. i'm already feeling the burn. so yeah, i figure this will keep me busy. school/volunteer work, work, and gym. i am most definitely going to be busy. i gotta focus on getting a's so i can get into rutgers in the fall. ahhh, can't wait till it all begins. one more week!

stressed out?

yeah, i think so. stress, negativity, rear-ending...i think everythings been building up. after talking to some of my people this afternoon/night i realized how unnecessary it all is. i apologize for this. you didn't deserve it, no one does...i'm going to try to fix this. i'm gonna try to be how i used to be--before all the negativity started to surface. maybe my past has been resurfacing (not the people, just the issues), finding it's way back into my mind...thinking the worst possible situations--and having them come true. i know, not supposed to bring the past into the present. (i'm gonna have to keep telling that to myself--until it sticks!) my body has also been acting funky (cholesterol and all), pain in my thighs (gotta keep on running). it never used to hurt this much, i never had heart burn before--but i did this week! i gotta get back to my happy place. i was happiest when i was being the gym bunny that i was...gotta get back into the habit (and it's good for my health!) i'm gonna fix this. i'm gonna get back to normal. i'm just glad my people are still around. i guess they have as much faith in me, as i do in them. and ima keep this in mind--that a friend pointed out to me..."because if you spend too much time and effort worrying about those other things you're not even sure about, you'll totally miss out on enjoying what you already have." i think it's because of my past that i'm like this. i know you learn from your past, but sometimes the past kinda fucks you over and messes with your head--then you believe that, that that's how you are (when really it's the complete opposite). weird how you realize things. guess it's been haunting me. but no more. didn't break me back then, and it won't now. taking it day by day now. working on gettin' to my happy place. thank you for being there with me, cause you know my ass is there for you (all of you).

babygirl got smacked on the ass AGAIN!!

so i was on hollywood & highland, fully stopped...light just turned green--we all go. a truck cuts in front of two cars in front of me, we stop...except for the guy behind me. baymn! i heard it, felt it a little...now my head hurts. pulled into the parking lot at BK, got the info (but i should have gotten more--i know). turns out he works at honda, so he's gonna fix her all up. i hate this. doctor apt tomorrow morning at 8:30. maybe she can give me something to make my headache to go away... this is the 3rd time i've gotten rear ended, first time was in the sentra (really bad), 2nd time i wasn't even in the car--i just watched as she was slammed into the wall (and a .5 for when the bitch rammed into me in the parking lot and stayed there), and now this. always on the ass. what the hell man? i just don't get it...

kobe bryant updates...

here's this fascinating link that i've been looking at over the past few weeks... abc news - kobe bryant - latest news i just wanted to share with ya'll...you can read the civil complaint on there! man, i hope he'll be able to play next season.... ----------- [side note] daymn, i'm writing a lot more now....

don't sweat the small stuff...

i think some of the things i'm going through is a test. who's test? i don't know, but i think the universe is sending out "tests" to see if i can handle the bigger things that will eventually be thrown in my path. do you think that's possible? that before you take that "giant leap", little things here and there are thrown in your path...and depending on your reaction--the next thing will be thrown your way (and so on and so on). do you think that God (or whomever/whatever you believe in) in his/their own way will test you before you go to wherever you're meant to be? or do? or become? because if that's the case, i think i'm doing just fine. little things (stupid, stupid litte things) keep being thrown in my path...and although they irritate the hell outta me--i'm learning to let go. i see the bigger picture, and the good outweigh the bad (so far)...so i think i'm good. it's all a learning process right? although, i do love the litte things, i'm not gonna sweat the small stuff...it's just not worth it. especially if in the end, i'm where i wanna be (doing exactly what i'm meant/want to do). it's all relative. besides, it's a new day. =)

happy birthday wishes...

happy birthday jayce!!! i so wanted to do this earlier (and wish you a happy day early on)...at least i texted right? hehe so yeah, hope ya'll had fun at hopkee. happy birthday!! =)

i'm tired...

have you ever wished you can be transported into a different place with just a snap of your fingers? or perhaps you wish that your closet opens up to narnia? i wish that all the time. i want to be transported somewhere, that's not here. maybe that's why i'm pushing so bad to go far far away, i know i'll be away from those that love me...but i'm just not ready to go home. sometimes i want to disappear...just for a little bit. or maybe for a long time, who knows! i'm just tired of how things are, how they've come to be. how i've let some things become the way they are. it's cumbersome at times. i know i shouldn't let things like this bother me (as some good friends have told me recently)--i actually promised to try not to let it all bog me down. i just get in a funk sometimes, and i don't know how to get myself out of it. i mean, i'll be in it, get out of it, then i'm back into it...it's a vicious cycle. i hate it. sometimes i just really want to pick up and go. go, far far away. maybe that's why i want to go off so badly. or maybe it's cause my dad has me trained, that i have to move every five years (well, until i find my place in the world that is). maybe i'm just searching for where i belong, and this place that i'm at is just a pitstop. maybe things happened the way that they did, so i know what to do (or not do) the next time around. lessons learned, yeah...i would say so. i'm just really really tired. i know things will pick up, they always do. i want to learn how to break vicious cycles. i want to learn what it is that makes me happy, brings me to a higher level. i want to feel a completeness. i know, one of these days right? i think i'm ready for my next step.

the voice within...

sometimes it's good to listen to what others have to say about certain subjects, but i have come to the realization (with some help ;) ) that when it comes right down to it...the decision is mine to make. no matter what anyone else says, or tries to influence me in any way...it's not their decision to make. i just wish some people would listen to me--as much as i listen to them. is that so hard to do? i mean, when it comes down to it....my decision is the one that matters right? especially if i'm the one going through it.

for all you who use ipod for PC

if you're like me and would like to use your ipod to it's "full" capacity (or want to use all the options it comes with), use this. i have been searching the net for something like this, and i finally found it! now i'm using my "pod" like a "palm"...it's so cool. but i'm not using the "isync" with my "contacts", i saved all those individually as vCards and just copied them into my "pod's" folder. but the "sync" works wonders with the calendar, it's just outlook was being a little bitch getting everything exactly the way i wanted it.

scheduling problems...

so i had to work out a work schedule to work with the classes i wanted to take at UCLA. well, that didn't happen. so when i finally came to grips with that, i looked into CSUN. i found 2 perfect classes that start late, and CSUN isn't too terribly far from work. so i emailed the dean of admissions at rutgers with the class synopsis of each class, so i could see if they were okay for me to take. and while waiting for her response i worked out my schedule with my boss, he took it to the partners and BAYMN...new work schedule for me. so i called the dean this morning to verify my classes, and she said they would be very good for me to take...and and and she said she wanted to take one of those classes to. so yeah. everything worked out. and...one of the classes may be transferable once i get into the program as an elective. i already emailed the prof's of the classes to get a syllabi of each, got one response...still waiting on the other. at least they know i'm interested in taking their classes (and why), i'm just hoping all the upper div students are all taking morning (or afternoon) classes-so the night classes will be open for us working people to take. ;) hope everyone's doing good. you're always always always in my thoughts. *mwah* *hug*

ELEMENT: Woman

SYMBOL: WO DISCOVERER: Adam ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 lbs, but known to vary from 85 to 550 lbs. PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: Surface often covered with painted film. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason. Melts if given correct treatment. Bitter if incorrectly used. Found in various stages ranging from virgin metal to common ore. Yields to pressure applied to correct points. CHEMICAL PROPERTIES: Has a great affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances. May explode spontaneously without prior warning, and for no apparent reason. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol. The greatest money reducing agent known to man. COMMON USES: Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars. Can be a great aid to relaxation. TESTS: Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen. HAZARDS: Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Illegal to possess more than one. Extremely volatile when disposing of, regardless of level of caution and care exercised. CONCLUSION: While this element is highly unpredictable in its behavior, there is no other known element in the universe to replace it. Despite the hazards listed above, it is highly sought after and irreplaceable. Without it, the element known as MAN would cease to exist in its present state. In fact, it would cease to exist altogether. got this one from mike. thanks man! it says it all in the conclusion...

my findings...

so this is what i've been doing since i got my computer back (i promised one of my bests that i'd do this). so all weekend i've been staring at my screen, checking out other schools...but i think so far i'm still going to focus on rutgers (i am working with the dean of admissions to get in). right now, i'm taking a break...my eyes are hurting! although, i am diggin' excel more (i think i just like my new version--even though i've had it, i finally had an excuse to use it). so there you have it. i'm still going to look into these schools (since i got the time), oh and i'm still looking into those classes at UCLA (someone keeps adding into that class i want--they need to stop already!!). oh and just to let ya'll know, in the fall...i'm going to the #11 ranked grad school for social work. see, there IS a silver lining. =)