Friday, April 02, 2004

I made her cry last night. I didn't mean to. I had her read my personal statement, she started critiquing, then she started crying. She tried to get off the phone with me, but I made her stay on and talk to me. I haven't even gotten accepted yet, and my mommy's crying already. I didn't mean to make her cry. I hate doing that. She said that when I first moved away to Southern Cali, said I'm leaving her. I'm not leaving her, I never move to get away from her. I'm sure she understands that I have to do this for myself, it's now or never (well not never--but I'm not getting any younger). They'll visit me of course, and I'll be home on the holidays...but they'll be in the pinas for half the year (since she's finally retiring), the other half in Cali. I hate feeling like this. I haven't even gotten accepted yet. I hope she'll get used to this, I know I'm going to hear it when I go home next week. Man, I'm all depressed now. I know it's hard when your daughter goes away, and I know it's even harder since I am the baby....but man, I'm not leaving her (or my family). If it happens (or when--I need to be positive), I hope they'll understand....

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