Thursday, April 22, 2004

family issues every family has their deal, a certain type of situation that keeps on popping up (you thought was over--comes back with a vengeance). for's my dad's drinking. hasn't been too bad lately, he promised to called last night, he broke his promise. when i was little we all knew how to deal with it, and as we got older--we kind of mastered it. take care of mom, and if mom's not around go to your room....come out when he's asleep. i remember watching my brothers taking care of him whenever he would come home, and i'd just watch my mom. i didn't really realize what was going on until i was in high i fully understand her pain. well, she finally told me last night--i hate this. maybe that's why i don't drink so much, or when i do--it's not a lot. for some reason i've had a handle on my alcohol intake (sans college years), i never let myself get too out of hand. i always have this voice in my head....make sure they can drive (or make sure everyone's okay). maybe it's my mom talking to me whenever i go out...maybe that's why she still freaks out whenever i go out today *shrug*. so i made a promise to myself a long time ago, never go out with a guy that drinks too much. last night i re-affirmed my promise to myself...i won't go through that (i just can't). although drinking is a good release, and fun with good friends....i have my limits (at least i know what they are). don't get me wrong, i love my father....he has his vices, and i wish he didn't (especially this one). especially after all we went through....i hate for my mom to go through this. it's not like we're all at home, she's alone with him most of the time...i feel powerless, i want to take her away from all of this....she doesn't deserve this...

No comments:

Post a Comment