Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Every day that passes,

brings me closer to my goal... This has been going though my head all day long, all the live long day. How sad right? What get's me though the day is where I want to be. I stare at the wallpaper on my celly (NY skyline taken from Jersey), it makes me happy to see the Empire State building (and all those other tall ones). That's where I want to be, but for some reason i'm still here. I'm working to getting to where I want, i'm still here for a reason. I think I know why, but I want to make sure it's the right thing to go for. I'm scared, but at the same time i'm not. I know what my path is, I know where I want to be, everyone knows where I want to be...I haven't hidden my intentions. I keep going in circles, trying to find some answers, to get some "clarity". Circles. Complete circles. Every day. One way. Then the other. Sometimes I stop...look around, and go back around again. I'm so tired. I also want this. I'm going to wear it all month long, it'll be a reminder of hope. Hope, sometimes I have so little. I think i'm just tired, when everything starts settling down...maybe i'll have my "balance" back. I always feel like i'm walking on a tight rope, does that sound bad? I want so much, it's hard to try to do it all. I think that's my problem. Never satisfied. No one wants that job either. Eh, whole other story, another day. And a whole other topic entirely...

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