Wednesday, June 16, 2004

outside, reaching in....

strength can come in two forms: physically, or mentally. it's been a trying new year, let's just start off with that. now we're halfway through...and i feel like the battles i fought, helped me realize some things that i'm only now taking care of. make sense? i never thought i'd be strong enough to do half the things that i've already accomplished, and i'm being constantly reminded by my beautiful friends. i'm constantly searching for some sort of "strength" to get me through whatever i'm going through. i keep asking for patience because i know in the end, if things were meant to happen--they will. i also know that no one else will help get you through things (especially when it comes down to the last count), you just gotta find it within you. one thing that i know about myself is that i always land on my feet. so no matter what happens in the upcoming months (*cross-fingers*), whatever He throws out at me (whether i have to move cross-country or not), i'll be able to deal. not only do i have "faith", i have "love" from my no matter what happens--i can do it. some people have been "testing" me so to speak, but i'm trying to not let them get to me. you can only do so much before your head explodes, but i tend to just let it go (or go smoke a pack of cigs). i seem to still be all together (we think). but no matter what, no one will break me down--they won't get to me (those voices in my head...HA!). because i know that no matter what happens, the people that were there for me from the beginning, will still be there. the ones that truly care for me, will still be around--no matter what i do...because they know me (not the dumbasses that "think" they know me, but the ones that REALLY do). i think i'm being tested again, the calm before the storm. maybe i have to go through this to see if i'll make it in the big new world. i can do it, i know i can...always gotta test yourself, never settle, think big, yeah....i can do it. yes, this is random. but you know what...i forgot my book so i decided to blog during my lunch hour. so there you have it. i am who i am, said sam i am. but you know what, don't push...cause if you keep pushing--you might be left behind. things happen for a reason, timing IS everything, and i'm just trying to make it through the day.

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