So okay, i'm sitting here cold, and bored. Almost fell asleep on the road going to my parents retirement house, and back home. Seeing that I was the driver, that was very bad. I know, I know. WAKE UP!!! *slaps face around* So i'm waiting for Shan to get ready, I wanna go to the mall already...but it's freezing outside. I wanna use my gc's that I got. whooo hooooo! Anyway, i'm tired....and i'm only doing this because one of the "boys" was bugging me yesterday, and today cause I didn't blog yet. Well are ya happy now? Oh and thanks for letting me watch Robotech that was cool. Yay, it's Thursday and we're not at work. Vacation all I ever wanted, vacation have to get away. I wanna sleep that's what I want to do. But noooooo, everyone wants me to go here or there. BLAH. Let me sleep!! Well actually last weekend I slept, it's just during the week i'm not so much. Anyway, this is random, so very random. I'm eating a Reese Stick.....my favorite. YUMMERS! So, so, let's see. Gonna do my hair tomorrow, possible shoot tomorrow...we shall see won't we. I'm sad though, tomorrow is Friday then i'll have to go home in a few days...and work again. grrrrrrr. I don't wanna leave the bay, i'm actually having fun here. Wow one whole week at home, the best ever. Gotta love it! Okay, gonna chill with the fam, till next time! *mwa*

So the week is almost over, thank God tomorrow is Friday! This week could not go slower. I think it's probably because Thanksgiving is next week and i'm so looking forward to it. I love going home to chill with the fams for a longer than a weekend visit. Oh and of course dessert at my cousin's house for the annual Thanksgiving dessert & charades game. Maybe this time they'll hear me when I make my guesses. I swear, no one ever hears me! But everyone hear's me when I say something crappy about someone...that always happens. So anyway, this week was hellish. and I figured out that you can't rely on people, no matter how cool you are with them. Because you can't be cool and work, no, that would be way to much for them to do. You have to be cool, ask them to do something, and have them reject you in front of everyone else. Nice right. Especially after someone higher up told you to ask for help. Okay, I feel better now. Venting is always wonderful, especially since I was getting a migrane because of it. Some people just don't know. And they wonder why i'm mental. They always think that they're problems are worse than yours, they don't even consider what else is going on. Inconsiderate people, gotta love it! I think i'll just be less friendly, that sounds like a good answer. That way i'll just be a bitch, all of the time. HA! Anyway...I feel better, now that I have food in me, maybe I was just hungry. Who knows, maybe I am just mental. Yeah, that's the ticket. Okay, let's see...breathe in, breathe out. Okay, i'm good. Actually, my shoulders feel less heavy now, so I must be better now. I love Thursday's. Friends is on, that show rocks. Jennifer Aniston rocks. And Friday is just around the corner. I think i'm going to sleep early tonight, get some rest, and feel refreshed for once this week. So, on that note...I shall bid you adieu! *mwa* till next time.

So almost two weeks have passed, and things have only slightly improved. I'm still having anxiety and now i'm starting to feel sick. Maybe it's the weather. I don't know, it's just a lot has gone on and I feel like nothing has been accomplished. I had my housewarming, that was fun. Drinking and friends are always fun. The new girl started, but i'm still not seeing how she's helping any. They still come to me for help instead of her. I'm not complaining it's just, I wish I had someone that I can go to, to help me out once in a while. ..and still the stupidest, and smallest things still set me off! Some idiot saw me on his buddy list and got pissed off at me because I wouldn't tell him who I was because of his rudeness. Geez, get a grip. Ignorant people piss me off. Like I could magically add myself to anyone's buddy list. Yes, I'll just use my Vulcan Mind Meld then bust out my Harry Potter Wand to do the trick, and jump on my Nimbus 2000 Vibrating Broom to get even more jollies. I can't believe they actually sold that thing! Ha, I head on the news today that they took it off the market, since only teen girls were using it. Hmmm....I wonder why. Anyway, I just wish I could find a way to calm down. My temper has been so uncontrolable, it's not even funny (is that even a word?). I know some people just see work as a job, but this is the beginning of my career, and I don't want to see it that way. Of course, i'm planning on going back to school so I can go in another direction but that's besides the point. I just wish I could somehow control my feelings. Maybe it is because i'm tired, I know at times I feel overwhelmed. Maybe I need to go on some sort of medication. Nah, i'm not that bad. Okay, i'm rambling, that's not good. I need rest, maybe I should read those books I bought. I swear I buy books and I don't read them, it's just like college all over again. HA!. I read Harry Potter, and i'd probably make more time to read the next HP book. I LOVE that series. Anyway, it's Thursday. Friends just ended. I LOVE Freddy Prinze Jr., Sarah Michelle Gellar is so lucky. Anyway...i'm gonna go lie in bed. She's calling me. =) So I shall bid you adieu...*mwa*

So it's the end of the week, or should I say the beginning? I don't know i'm still exhausted from my trip home last weekend. It's just so amazing how tired I am. Usually I don't get this exhausted, and it doesn't matter how much sleep I get, I just get more exhausted every day. Weird huh. I was hoping that today i'd get some rest and be refreshed, but it doesn't look like that now does it. I'm kinda excited about this week though. Tomorrow, I get to go to my first Production of Documents, but that's also Paul's "official" last day. I'm really sad to see him go, but i'm really happy that he found something that he really likes. It'll be okay, now everyone will just depend on me, until we find a replacement. Who knows when that will happen! HA! Maybe i'll have my Masters before that'll happen. Wednesday I get to go to the information session for the Masters program that I'm hoping to be accepted into. I also realized that if I don't get into Mount Saint Mary's that I can get into another school. I can look at it this way, I didn't really make any effort to get into State, and this time around I am. I'm actually going to apply to different schools, take a prep course for the GRE, and actually care about what i'm doing to get into school. You see, there is always bright side to look at, not all negative. I know i've been negative for a while, a little stress ball if you will. Or it's just my exhaustion kicking in. I don't know, I ramble a lot when i'm tired. But all in all good weekend, saw friends, good food, and good week ahead. This year has gone by so fast, it's just amazing to me. Thanksgiving is around the corner, well, at least i'll be home more often than not. That's always a good thing. So I think i'm going to eat and sleep. Maybe i'll feel better in the morning. So I shall bid you adieu, *mwa* till next time!

So this is my first Blog. The day after the one year anniversary of Sept. 11th. I remember what I did that day, and I remember feeling lost because I couldn't do anything. I also found out that my friend was supposed to be on that flight from Jersey (can't remember the flight # to S.F.), but she stayed behind to finish up work (thank God). I just felt lost that day, didn't know what direction I was going in. We went to work, they sent us home...and all day all I could do is watch TV, couldn't even sleep. All I can say is that i'm very sorry for all the families and friends who lost their loved ones. We can only hope for the best, and go on from there. I know in the end we will all be stronger for it.