Saturday, March 05, 2016

Rainy nights...

I am fueled by 5 or so hours of sleep & a venti soy butterscotch latte. It reminds me of butterbeer. My sweet reward for today's long run. So I begin my watch for the night. They're trying some new things to help her be more comfortable throughout the night...and she's able to tell us when she needs the bathroom. 

It's nice to come on nights like this, I can sense she feels better. More lucid. She's making a lot of sense. Maybe it's the weather, rainy weather always makes us think clearer...right?

I ran for her today, I was super exhausted. I was thinking of every excuse to not run. It was raining, cold, I was tired, hungry, the pups need me. But I just put one foot in front of the other, waived to those on the trail & kept it moving. The hills were hard today, you just don't know. I also walked more inside the trail, but I was welcomed by the most amazing views. I went a little deeper in and it was worth it. I also fought with my jacket a lot, that's what really slowed me down...I kept stopping to take it off, then I didn't want my jacket to stop my watch so I turned it back on to take off or put on my jacket. Little things, lots of little things today. 

What kept me going was Kristy. When I'm tired, I say do it for her, run for her, run faster so you can get home to rest...you're going over there tonight. You need your strength to help lift her, massage her & to stay awake. 

She's comfortable, that's my job. I have to remember to be gentle. Her skin is sensitive, so be light, be patient, you're here for her. I just want her to be comfortable now. Even her voice is more normal (as evidenced by rate, rhythm & volume) it's nice. 

Praying for peace...always.


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