Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

so for some strange reason i just NEEDED to see this movie at 12:05 a.m. on an IMAX screen, directors seats--basically means my ass didn't have to wait in line!! reserved seating baby!! now for some reason, i was lead to believe that "director's seats" were the big ass leather seats & alcohol would be served (or a bar was within the theater). i was wrong. i felt all scrunched in my seat, and no alcohol around (probably good cause kids were around). it was stadium seating, so nobody's head was in my way (although, dude in front did not have to sit so far back that i wouldn't have any leg room). now on with my review... i'm not going to give you details of what actually happened within the movie (although feel free to ask-if you really want to know). this is more of what i liked, didn't like, total feel for it. first off the kids are getting stronger as wizards, which was wonderful to see. it's great to see harry become more "emotional" and acting out rather than just taking it. hermoine was absolutely brilliant as she took care of malfoy, and it's good to see ron finally being more confident with his abilities. they are all growing with their characters, and no they don't have to be replaced for the next four movies (we all know that it takes seven years to finish hogwarts). i loved seeing all the emotions the characters had, when harry met sirius face to face, when harry and lupin spoke about his parents...you can tell (and feel) the love they all had for each other. the closeness, it was just beautiful. i didn't particularly like the new dumbledore. he didn't have the grandfather type feel, the spark in his eyes, the closeness with the kids. granted he wasn't in the movie for very long, but still i couldn't feel the connection. there were a lot of parts of the book that weren't included in this movie. well maybe not a lot, but i feel that you needed those parts to fully understand the relationships between the characters. you can't just throw it all in one scene and expect everyone to get it. my suggestion to those that haven't read the book is to first watch it, then ask away. for the most part i remembered everything (well once they got to hogwarts anyway), i just felt it was too fast paced and way too short. i mean, i didn't want it to be over three hours or anything, but you could have explained a few things better so the audience could have a better understanding (if you didn't read). so far this is my favorite out of the three, but my absolute favorite of all the books is four! so i'm waiting around for that movie, now that has everything! so go and watch, this is a pretty "dark" movie so it's not the cheery happy go lucky like in the first two. this is more of a coming of age type deal, and i was lovin it. "those you love never really die, they live on."

A DONKEY STORY

A farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive. 2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen. 3. Live simply and appreciate what you have. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less NOW -------- Enough of that crap . . . The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock. MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON: When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you. * * * * * got this from manong merrick a few days ago & i wanted to post it up then, but for some reason for today...it feels appropriate. if you all only knew...

western conference champions

okay maybe they didn't take it in 5, but they sure as hell took it in 6!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LAKERS!!! we're gonna take it back!! yeahhhhh baby!!! yeahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

reinvent yourself

so on thursday, may 27th i finally saw my idol in concert. i have collected tape's and cd's of her since i was 13, i searched all over hawaii for those stupid black jelly bracelets (now i have no idea where they are). i had posters all over my room--from the giant ones from the poster store, to the little ones in "teen beat" or whatever i could get my hands on. i bought anything i could get of her, i have this wallet sized head shot of her that i used to carry around in my wallet (along with my pic of duran duran)...of course, my mom would never let me dress like her--but i could blast her music as loud as i wanted (even like a prayer). i was even allowed to watch her video's--once we got mtv that is. and on thursday i finally was able to see her. she is the most amazing entertainer, and i'm told she rocks as a boss. shannon was one of her dancers when she did "vogue" at the grammys (i forget what year), and she said she's a great boss & she's not so "divaish". she is just so amazing, and i wasn't disappointed... *click* *click* the pictures aren't that great, a few good ones--the rest are kinda blurry...and we weren't in the best of seats. but i don't care, i finally saw madonna in concert!! and to top this all off...my FIRST concert EVER!! i was so happy, i was singing her songs...got my groove on & clapped and screamed my ass off. i had this goofy ass face as we left the forum, since i was so daymn happy. then it happened. ruined my madonna night. we were walking to the car, a car was coming and my friend tried to cross, but i didn't "commit"...so he stepped back and as the car passes he kicks the car. driver get's out of his car, words were said, then the blows came. i couldn't get in between cause i'd get knocked around, so i just stood there and waited till it was over....pulled my friend away and looked for the car. suffice it to say--madonna night was ruined. he actually thought it was funny. this all could have been avoided...but whatever, it happened. so as i was telling some of my other people, i'm going to just remember that i FINALLY got to see madonna. i love her, and from what i'm told...this is going to be one of her last tours. so i saw her just in time! she is just an amazing performer, and now....i have to get immaculate collection on cd (since i only have it on tape). ahhhh, it was great, just so great (with that exception) but yeah, great, and i'm happy. i'm finally doing things, it's a sign i tell you, a sign. so i hope you all have a wonderful weekend. oh and one more thing....GO LAKERS!!! you can take it in 5!! *mwah*

quizes, quizes, quizes

Your Heart is Red
What Color is Your Heart?
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Faerie: Fairies are sweet loving beings who love to help
people. They are not held back by reality and
love to dream and fly around. You probably are
very creative and although not the most popular
person in the world you are probably loved by
many for your sweet caring personality.
What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Loneliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
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You're Element is Wind. You're light-hearted,
care-free, kind, sensitive, and mysterious. You
have friends and most absolutely love you. You
can be calm and soothing one minute and ragging
in anger the next so no one wants to get on
your bad side. You're beauty is inspiring and
magical.
What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla i got these from bumblebootie. it's just a quizzing kinda day man...

capricorn...

Say good-bye to the past. Look ahead into something different and untried. You're confident in your new skills and eager to use them in some challenge that will teach and amuse you. You have adequate supplies for every conceivable circumstance. Whatever you're not carrying, you can buy or create. Sympathetic company would be just the thing to make this the journey of a lifetime. You could use some help celebrating each discovery and the changes that it brings. Of course, you want more than a cheering section. You should be among your equals if you really want to have fun. * * * * i liked my horoscope for today, so i thought i'd share. have a good day everyone! you're always in my thoughts. *hug* *mwah*

"Oh, you know the Bitch"

"The Bitch is the voice that stops you from expressing who you are and berates you for saying and doing something you cannot go back and change. It nags and nags and nags you." ..... "The Bitch tells you everything you're not cable of doing, being, or achieving. It says, "Don't show people how much you love them--they'll take advantage of you. Don't shine--people will be jealous. Don't express what you feel--it may piss someone off and if they're pissed off they won't love you and if they don't love you, you'll feel empty and then you'll start drinking and overeating and be fat and drunk and no one will ever want to be with you, so just keep your mouth shut and walk the other way." After I realized I was in control of whether I listen to the Bitch or not, she stopped coming around. Being ignored pissed her off so much she left my mind for weeks, sometimes even months, at a time. Just as flowers wilt when their needs are ignored, the Bitch got quiet when I no longer listened to and followed every word she said." * * * * this is just a excerpt from a book i'm reading, Psychic Diaries by Lysa Mateu. i just really liked it & i thought i'd share...daymn bitch.

I'm blessed - thanks 2 YOU!

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who won't survive the week. If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 20 million people around the world. If you attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world. If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy. If your parents are still married and alive, you are very rare, especially in the United States. If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not. If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch. If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all. You are SO blessed in ways you may never even know. =)

volunteer day w/ p.s. arts

so saturday morning i woke up early to help out shannon with her fundraising event "conga challenge 2004." *click* *click* those are just a bunch of pictures of the kids setting up, playing & of course the "conga line." for those of you who don't know, p.s. arts is a non-profit organization that brings art programs (i.e. music, drama, etc.) to public schools. they have grown over the past 5 years, and shannon is the ONLY member of the staff that has been with p.s. arts from the beginning. well i can't really say staff, because she has her own staff that she's in charge of...i think from the main office or something. anyway, whenever they have some sort of "event" or whenever shan asks me to come along i always go with...so that's part of my "volunteer work" while i'm out here. just seeing the kids performing makes me happy (of course before and after sometimes i could strangle them--but that's besides the point). * * * * we basically spent the entire day at the promenade. after the event we decided to go shopping, and shan even bought me make up and showed me how to use it. we spent entirely way to much, but it's not like i go shopping every day (actually hardly ever in my case). so yeah, after our "shopping binge" we had dinner with her man and his friends. interesting night is all i can say. although i am glad i'm going out more, but we were just way tired (since i was up hella early!) so i hope you enjoyed the pics, i'm gonna finish cleaning up--then watch the lakes kick some t.wolves ass!! hope you all had a wonderful weekend! *mwah*

"In my experience,"

Teabing said, "men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire." * * * * just a quote i liked from the latest book i'm reading, the da vinci code.

weekend of troy *drools*

first we went to the grove for some eats, then we went to the ghetty... *click* *click* it was all about appreciating troy this weekend. now mind you, i've lived down in so cal for 5 years, and in la around 4 years--but i've never ventured out. it took someone from seatle (of all places) to get me out of my apartment to check out the mean streets of la. we checked out the greek art (and everything else) over at the ghetty. mind you, i thought the ghetty was more of a "private" museum where you had to "reserve" a time to go. i don't know why i thought that, i just did. after the ghetty we went to this restaurant (i don't remember the name) but it was the "food of the gods". didn't really care for the cobb salad but the avocado was nice. then off to watch troy at mann's westwood village (first time ever there--too bad they weren't premiering anything). boy let me tell you, brad pitts ass was so smooth! it was all about achilles & hector (well and the war and everything). i was surprised that i remembered parts of history....especially that daymn trojan horse! but paris, oh paris...although you're good with an arrow--you can't do squat with a sword. i still love you though. so for the boys, the war was pretty daymn good...for the girls, eye candy galore & of course the history of it all. then it was off to the sports bar to watch the lakes kick spurs ass! hell yeah baby! now who will we play? the timberwolves, or the sorry ass kings? hmmmmm.... after that we headed over to the promenade for some more fun with drinks! so i'd like to thank shaolinLFE for showing me around la & being my favorite movie "bud". hehe i do remember what i'm not supposed to say, but i won't say it here. so yeah, i had a great time & thanks for making me go outside and enjoy la! whooo ha! i think i drank to much....

one lucky shot deserves another

hell yeah baby! i might have missed 75% of the game but fourth quarter made up for that. fishy made it in .4 seconds!! YEAH BABY!! whoooo hooooo!! one more to go!! come on home boys!! * * * * oh and i messed around with my template, so in netscape the font looks smaller but in explorer it looks normal. if anyone knows how to make it normal can ya let me know? but it's cool cause the title line works & i now have a spot for recent posts. i'm lovin this new blogger! oh and i put my "blogger profile" up also--check my invasions. =) why couldn't they think of this earlier? we all had to do everything manually. now with the new formats it comes with comments--and all the extra stuff that i added. oh well, ain't technology grand? * * * * i'm just happy my boys won! whooo hooo!!! **edit: okay, i figured it out. so in netscape it looks big--but in explorer even bigger! and i got the rest of the font to be normal sized again. i think i'm happy with it.

say hello...

to my dear friend milliza! she was one of my candidates from j.a.c. #30, and she incidentally was the only candidate/graduate (so far) that became a director. yes, she followed my footsteps. heheh. so say hello, even though she hasn't said much yet--i'm sure she'll have a lot more to say in the days to come. ain't the internet grand? i'm re-connecting with my people (and she's all the way in the pinas now!). anyway, lakers are gonna be on in a bit (once the nets kick detroits ass--hurry up already!)...and i must support my boys. anyone wanna take me to game 5? let me know--i'm so there! **edit: OMG i was so engrossed in the game that i forgot about american idol!!!

mamma's day 2004

so this was my mamma's day... *click* *click* we all pitched in and got her the most awsome'st gift ever! so yeah, i hope you all had a good weekend & all your mothers had the bestest day ever. saturday night was our celebration for our mamma and gramma. yum yum yum, that's all i can say--love me some sushi. =) on sunday i swung by j.a.c. for a quick visit--man i feel old. at least i got to see some of the old school heads & my assistant! yay! so yeah, hope you enjoyed the pics!! i'm super tired so g'nite!!

texting down

well not all of texting, i can send but not receive--cingular's network is down. so until this is all fixed, people must call. that is all.

happy momma's day (early)

i just wanted to wish my mamma & all of yours a happy mamma's day now.... since i'm going home today, and i'll probably be out and about all weekend. so enjoy your mothers (and grandmothers) everyone! for those of you who's mothers (or grandmothers) aren't with us--remember her on sunday, cause you know she's always with you....

it's the end

so tonight at 8pm it will be the beginning of the end....of friends. my one constant for these past 5 years (since i wasn't religious about it when i was up in the bay). it was there when the boys were no longer around, when my people decided they didn't need me, and when everything in my world was disappointing. i look forward to it every week, and tonight will be the end. yes, i am saddened by that fact. i will cry, and i will ignore all im's and phone calls (unless you're super special--and i mean SUPER special [you know who you are]). so even though i'm looking forward to tonight, i'll be really sad at the end. no more shows like this one, nothing to look forward to for the new fall season (i hope i'll be in school so i don't have to worry about that). i know it's an obsession, but hey we all got our little quirks right? so good-bye friends. i'll see you on dvd (or on syndication).

on the positive tip

i got this idea from yano, she wanted us all to post something positive....so here you go. i'm thankful for all my friends & my beautiful family. i found that no matter how far i go, how little i visit & call--those people are still there for me. i also found out that it doesn't matter what i do, i can mess up royally--and they're still there! i can probably turn into psycho b*tch--and they'll still be there! especially with particular friends, i can be really weird--or something (and i'm really sorry for that), and i thank you all for not giving up on me (cause you know i'll never give up on you). it's love baby, i got love from my people!! i hope you're doing good, you're always in my thoughts. *hug*

down time

so at work our server or data line is down....well, it's something else like the company we use went bankrupt so we don't have access to outlook, internet, or we can't put in our time. actually, all our branches are down except our main office. it's sad man, i had to find other ways to entertain myself. so i started playing minesweeper, pinball, spider solitaire, solitaire, hearts and this encarta encyclopedia game...Pretty cool man. i finished the encarta game (well, level 2 anyway)...it was so cool. so yeah, i'm hoping they fixed the problem by now--or by the time i get there in the morning. if not, i'm going to try level 3 of the encarta game! * * * * oh and it's SUPER hot out there. please pray for the firefighters out there fighting the fires down in san diego and riverside. i hate fire season....it's too early! those poor people who had to be evacuated...i feel so bad for them. we need rain, and we need to cool the hell down....it's like we're all melting, i have my ac on as i type. we need to cool down, drink lotsa water people & keep your animals indoors!!

the end of an era

so i'm sitting here at the beginning of a friends marathon (i know, i'm retarded)--and i know you're all thinking why (since i have season 1 - 7 on dvd & season 8 - now on tape). *shrug* i just am. it's also cause i don't want to be out, it's too friken hot out there (besides i already went out and did all my errands for the weekend). and this thursday is the 2 hour series finale of my favorite show ever. i have my tape all set up, and i know i'll probably be balling (at least i'll be watching it with shan--i think). it's just weird, every thursday for the past 10 years off and on i've been glued to my tv (or watched it sometime after since i tape everything). i guess cause it relates to everything, or when i actually moved out i totally felt whatever they were feeling. yeah, they had their off seasons but for the most part....i loved it. anyway, i know ya'll think i'm stupid since i'm talking about a show (but whatever, i'm sure you all have your own shows you follow)...i'm going back to my marathon. hope you all are having a good weekend. and for those of you in cali, stay indoors--it's hot outside!! take care everyone--you're always in my thoughts *hug*

terrorist threats and the thought of death

so the mall that's behind my building is having a bomb threat, that one and the west side pavillion. security is at an all time high today, no deliveries, and security was watching us as we all drove into the structure. everyone's being really quiet, that or they're not in the office. it's been all over the news (ever since last night at least), and the first phone call of the day was from mommy (i knew it was her as soon as my phone rang). i've been telling everyone that IF anything were to happen--it's been really nice knowing them. i mean it too, but everyone just think's that's crazy talk. but i've been thinking about that...like, if i were to die right this minute--i'd be okay with it. granted, i don't have a family of my own (i'd really like to one day), and i haven't obtained my masters yet (*crosses-fingers*), and i'm not rollin in my porshe yet....i'd be okay with it. i mean you're supposed to live life to it's fullest, no regrets right? granted there are a few things i regret doing--but you live and you learn. this doesn't mean i want someone to come up to me and shoot me in between my eyes--i'm just saying i'll be okay if it's my time. who knows MAYBE they'll come through and do something to the mall and get us at the same time...you never know. i mean, don't ya'll ever think of death? not actually committing suicide, but if you were in that situation and you can go towards the light, or stay where you are....what would you do?

acrophonology: what's in your name?

eileen joy: You have a need to communicate and express yourself. You are inclined to over intellectualize, and hate to be misquoted. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind. You conduct yourself in a fair and just manner. You enjoy watching or participating in sports. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength. Your independence and freedom are important to you. e: You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You try to be prudent. You have good business acumen. Your privacy is important to you. You have a rich inner life. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You are clever, inventive, imaginative and youthful. You enjoy socializing. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You need to learn flexibility. esporo: You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You have a need to earn money to prove your success to society and must learn the true value of material gains and status. You have a talent for working with people on a one to one basis. You need to learn flexibility. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. You need to learn flexibility. * * * * try it--acrophonology of you

WHY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE? To the question why bad things happen to good people, here's a simple answer. It doesn't really help when bad things do happen, but it's a way of looking at things. A ninety-one year old woman died after living a long dignified life. When she met God she asked him something that had long bothered her. If Man was created in God's image, and if all men are created equal, why do people treat each other so badly? God replied that each person who enters our life has a unique lesson to teach us. And it is only through these lessons that we learn about life, people, relationships and God. This confused the woman, so God began to explain. When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always as they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know their heart. And remove your own masks to let people know yours. When someone steals from you, it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always appreciate what you have, for you never know when you might lose it. And never, ever take your friends and family for granted because today is the only guarantee you have. When someone inflicts an injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state is a fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best you can, it's the only thing you are sure to have for as long as you live. When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, don't judge them by how they look or act; instead base your opinion on the contents of their heart. When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that person will love you back. But don't turn your back on love because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings will make up for all the past hurts put together. Times ten. When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is the most difficult and courageous thing man can do. When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting temptation is man's greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptation. By doing so you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted. When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil. Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities. When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over which they have no control. Upon hearing the Lord's wisdom, the old woman became concerned that there were no lessons to be learned from man's good deeds. God replied that man's capacity to love is the greatest gift he has. At the root of all kindness is love, and each act of love also teaches us a lesson. The woman's curiosity deepening, God once again began to explain. When someone loves us, it teaches us that love, kindness, charity, honesty, humility, forgiveness and acceptance can counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one less evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused. When you enter someone's life, whether by plan, chance or coincidence, consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of reality? When you die will your life have resulted in more loving or hurting? More comfort or pain? More joy or sadness? Each one of us has power over the balance of love in the world. Use it wisely. Don't miss an opportunity to nudge the world's scale in the right direction.

personal journey have you ever felt that you're destined to do something more? like you wake up every day, and you wished you weren't going to work, or where you were going....but that you wished you were going some place that meant more to you? that's how i've been feeling for the past year or so. i hate waking up and going to my daily destination, and no matter what happens i'm gonna keep hating it until i move on--move on to something that i've wanted to do for years. after the first couple of years of living out in la i started to really hate the path i was on. those around me thought everything was peachy keen (with the exception of my moms), i just felt like there was so much more that i could be doing....maybe that's when the depression hit (and maybe i haven't been out of it till recently). maybe that's why i never went out, i never tried anything new because i thought that nothing would come of it. then things started happening once i paid off all my bills, opportunities started popping up....one after the other. i couldn't ignore the signs anymore. now more signs are popping up, and omens too....it's just so weird. not a bad weird, a great weird. it's a i wish it happened earlier, and i'm hoping it'll only get better from here kind of deal. everyone's personal journey is different, and it comes to you at different periods in your life....as long as you achieve it is what matters--or as long as you attempt to achieve it, i should say. some people get distracted or things pop up to de-rail you from your destination--i'm hoping that doesn't happen to me. i hope you all achieve yours, thank you to those who are helping me along my way....

listen to your heart "My heart is a traitor," the boy said to the alchemist, when they had paused to rest the horses. "It doesn't want me to go on." "That makes sense," the alchemist answered. "Naturally it's afraid that, in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you've won." "Well, then, why should I listen to my heart?" "Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what you're thinking about life and about the world." "You mean I should listen, even if it's treasonous?" "Treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know your heart well, it will never be able to do that to you. Because you'll know it's dreams and wishes, and will know how to deal with them." "You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it's better to listen to what it has to say. That way, you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow." The boy continued to listen to his heart as they crossed the desert. He came to understand its dodges and tricks, and to accept it as it was. He lost his fear, and forgot about his need to go back to the oasis, because, one afternoon, his heart told him that it was happy. "Even though I complain sometimes," it said, "it's because I'm the heart of a person, and people's hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly." "My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky. "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." -from the alchemist by paulo coelho i'm on my way to achieving my personal journey, & while i'm on it i'm listening to my heart--and the different signs and omens i'm seeing (see posts earlier this month). this might sound weird to you all, but read the book....then you'll understand. i'll continue this later....

on motivation i finally got the nerve to tell my other best friend about my future plans, and applying to rutgers. i know she means well, and she can only go by my past....or what she's seen, but i know deep down she thinks i'm going there for other reasons. i get the feeling that other people are thinking the same thing too...and it pisses me off. what everyone doesn't see is what i feel, what motivates me to do as i do. when i moved to la i didn't move for my boyfriend at the time, i moved because of a promise i made to myself while i was at state....i wanted to move to southern cali as soon as i graduated-and i did just that. granted i didn't have many friends down there, and i hung out with his people...and they became my people. that's normal. but eventually i did branch out (like i always do)....got my bearings then went with it. yeah, i don't go out as much as i'd like to...but that's more of a fund issue than anything. i only started going out more this year because of a recent raise, and donations from my loved ones. i could have gone out if i wanted to, but i never felt a need to....or wanted to reach out. granted, i didn't experience all there is here in la (and there's a lot)...but if i REALLY wanted to, i would have. i apparently didn't want to. now people are questioning why i want to go to the east coast, and they're all thinking one thing. it's as if i don't have a mind of my own, or a friken back bone. just like i say in my personal statement, i want to experience life out there, and just live. before i moved out i was completely sheltered....so when i moved out, it was a shock....a complete shock to me. i had so much freedom i didn't know what to do with myself. i've seen all i wanted out here, and to be frank....i'm tired of it. the only thing i'll really miss (if accepted) is my people. i've been all over cali and back. i can do that drive from so cal to nor cal in 5.5 hours, and tell you all the stops in between. i used to give people tours of the bay area, and i'll drive you around la if you wanted. i've experienced all i could in cali and i'm ready for more. how hard is it for people to believe that i want to step out of the box and try something new? i'm going to force myself to go out, make new friends, get into study groups, join whatever groups they have at school, go see spoken word, try some spicy foods, walk all over the city, learn the subway system, and maybe even attempt to drive in the city when necessary. i'm just so tired of people thinking i'm only motivated by one thing. yeah okay, sometimes i am, but i'm learning from my mistakes....and the past is the past! i'm not doing this to prove a point, i'm doing this so i can experience something different, something exciting....and be able to look back and say-yeah, i did that. how hard is that to believe? i'm doing this for ME, not anyone else. i know people out there are thinking i'm fooling myself. but unless you step into my shoes, and go inside my head and KNOW what i'm thinking or feeling then you DON'T know. i'm so tired of people trying to tell me what i'm feeling or thinking. i mean, don't you want to step outside the box? some of you already had that experience of living in new york, europe or wherever. why can't i do it? this is just the right time for me to start something new, apply myself. i finished paying off all my bills, and it's just time for me to start doing what I want to do. is that so hard to believe? if the timing was finally right for you, are you telling me you wouldn't go do something that you've been dreaming about for years?

family issues every family has their deal, a certain type of situation that keeps on popping up (you thought was over--comes back with a vengeance). for us....it's my dad's drinking. hasn't been too bad lately, he promised to stop....mom called last night, he broke his promise. when i was little we all knew how to deal with it, and as we got older--we kind of mastered it. take care of mom, and if mom's not around go to your room....come out when he's asleep. i remember watching my brothers taking care of him whenever he would come home, and i'd just watch my mom. i didn't really realize what was going on until i was in high school....now i fully understand her pain. well, she finally told me last night--i hate this. maybe that's why i don't drink so much, or when i do--it's not a lot. for some reason i've had a handle on my alcohol intake (sans college years), i never let myself get too out of hand. i always have this voice in my head....make sure they can drive (or make sure everyone's okay). maybe it's my mom talking to me whenever i go out...maybe that's why she still freaks out whenever i go out today *shrug*. so i made a promise to myself a long time ago, never go out with a guy that drinks too much. last night i re-affirmed my promise to myself...i won't go through that (i just can't). although drinking is a good release, and fun with good friends....i have my limits (at least i know what they are). don't get me wrong, i love my father....he has his vices, and i wish he didn't (especially this one). especially after all we went through....i hate for my mom to go through this. it's not like we're all at home, she's alone with him most of the time...i feel powerless, i want to take her away from all of this....she doesn't deserve this...

i knew it....
Which Disney Princess are you? i'm so her, and i love that song... =)

i'm not your superwoman well, most of the time i am. but after talking to lan last night, i realized that all my insecurities about the thought of moving are starting to surface--and that's what's causing all my mental anguish. i mean, it is all the way on the other side of the country. some of my friends are starting to get all sappy on me, i'm seeing people more...and i'm not telling everyone i'm too lazy to go out--go figure. so yeah, one of my boys told me all i have to do regarding my past issues is to let go, go splurge on myself and have a spa day. i would so do that--if i wasn't saving all my money for whenever i do move. i mean for the most part, i have either let the past go--or completely erased it from my mind. i swear, someone asked me something about my past the other day....and i couldn't recall. it's like it's been blocked from my memory. i know my issues aren't as big as what other people are going through, and maybe i'm just being a drama queen. well, i haven't done this in a while....i'm just preparing myself i guess. well, if and when i do make my move...i'll be ready, right? at least i know i'll be loved, and missed. other things are going through my head--i'll save you all from that (i know, it's getting irritating). so i hope you all are well, and i'm still praying that things will get better....you're always in my thoughts (even though i'm having all my mental issues). *hug*

rollercoasters although i love rollercoasters, i don't like the emotional kind. i've been dealing with a lot of things, by myself (i chose not to allow anyone else to go though this with me--it's just easier that way). i figure go through it now before i move on (and move), i don't want to bring excess baggage with me when i make the move (*crosses-fingers*). i'm told you shouldn't bring your past into your present (and i'm dealing with a lot of my past--should have been done a long time ago). so please excuse me as i'm being a moody ass bitch, but thank you for those who have asked....it's much appreciated.

bad dreams & thoughts do you ever get into one of those funk's that you only dream bad things, or think of bad thoughts...or even second guess yourself? and these dreams or thoughts are so bad that you're crying to yourself? i think i've always did this kind of thing, 'cause my mom used to wake me up when i was little saying i was crying really hard (and i would never remember about what), or something like that. but yeah, lately i've been in a bad funk. sick and emotionally unstable? how sad is that. but this morning one of my j.a.c. lil bro's im'd me this (and this particular bro i've never met mind you), "god loves you, and so do i. have a blessed day. =)." no one has said that to me in a long ass time, actually not since j.a.c. has anyone said it (when i was active at least). he im'd it then logged off. i hate it when people do that, then i can't respond (since i was staring at my screen at the time--it was way early too). i just thought it was funny. after waking up from bad dreams, crying, having more bad dreams....when i do finally get out of bed, someone tells me that, "god loves you, and so do i. have a blessed day. =)." i just thought it fit. like he knew i needed to hear it? maybe he felt my vibes through the internet (even though i wasn't saying anything). now i'm watching a depressing episode of ally mcbeal--from the final season. granted it's in boston, she did end up in new york (i know i'm reaching). maybe all my dreams and thoughts are coming cause there's a good chance that i'll be leaving soon (*crosses-fingers*), and all my insecurities are coming out in my subconscious. perhaps this is just my weird way of dealing with it all...

sickness i don't like being sick, but i got kicked out of the office today. so i'm going to drink some green tea and MAYBE i'll get better. hehe j/k lissa, i don't blame you at all. but my ears hurt, my throat hurts, and i'm hot and cold....off to bed i go. oh and i gotta shove that stuff up my nose, i hate putting things up my nose....it never makes it up all the way...

easter & fun times on our way to fantasyland.... so this is what i did on my four days off (minus friday night, since i couldn't operate a camera at that time). *click* *click* fun with the family, and fun with lan and the kiddies at disneyland! let me tell you all....it is so much better going to disneyland with kids, a little tiring but more fun. aaaannnnndddddddddd i just found out tonight that i'm going to be one of dylan's god mothers. yay! finally someone asks me prior to making me one! he's so cute, he calls me aunti yeen, or eiyeen. he's the only baby i've ever held, and believe me...i don't go around holding and kissing babies. so yeah, hope you enjoyed the pics! =) *mwah*

the new 'do so yeah, i look really tired in this pic cause the night before i had to much to drink & i almost missed my appointment due to over sleeping. anyway, some of you asked--and here you go! gotta get to sleep....disneyland in the morning!!! more later! *mwah*

hotness.... man oh man! it's HOT up here in the bay! i HATE it! at least in la it's been kinda gloomy and chilly, i like it when it's chilly. maybe it's cause when i was younger i was in the hottest areas ever, or maybe i've become weaker as i've aged. eh, who knows. all i know is i'm happy! i even went and got my watch all spiffed up, nice and shiny baby. i even saw the kiddies today, of course i'll see more of them this weekend--but i miss them when i'm gone. so yeah, today is good friday....in a few days sweets will enter my mouth again (and other things--eventually). although, i keep thinking i cheated. but i don't think so since puto is made out of rice--and it's not a pastry (well it's not the fancy kind--more of a breakfast kind or the kind you eat with dinuguan)....and the avocado boba is made of avocado, and avocado is a fruit...therefore it's healthy. okay i feel better after justifying myself. anyway, i hope you all are having a good 'good friday'! & i hope you all have a most wonderful weekend!! ima get my hair done tomorrow *fling* oh and btw it was nice hearing from you, and i'll keep on praying! =) *HUG*

random thought don't worry about the negativity. that's all garbage. don't give in to everything you hear. you're better than that. keep your mind set on the good stuff, whether big or little. what matters is that you did it. it's all in the past now. and you learn from what happened.. right? * * * * got this from one of my lil sisters blogs. i just really liked it, totally speaking to me....

early wishes just wanted to wish you all a early happy easter & good friday, since my ass is going home tomorrow night. whooo ha! * * * * okay, so what the hell is american idol all about? that friken stupid red-headed boy who sucked ass last night was safe? granted okay, camille wasn't at the top--but she was better than that stupid red-headed boy! i even voted last night, but apparently more people are voting for the people with NO TALENT....and why? because they like those ugly boys? i CANNOT believe this crap! this is supposed to be a SINGING contest, not a PERSONALITY contest. fucker doesn't even have personality, he barely has a smile. i'm so pissed! i can't believe that america would vote this way! what keep your people in, take us out? okay, okay...yeah that was wrong....but fuck. jeez people, do you even watch? or do you wait till 9:55 find out what the number is to your person then call? do you even watch how badly your person performs? this is so wrong!!! next week, i'm going to do what they all do....i'm all about jasmine. that's right fuckers, i'm onto your game. i'm going to email all my people to do the same--cause that's what the friken red-headed boy is probably doing. grrrrrrr..... * * * * * oh yeah, happy early easter everyone (sorry, i ended up re-doing the middle of this post since i was watching american idol at the same time). hope you get all the candy you want. yes, sweets can be in my mouth again come sunday!!!! hell ya baby....I DID IT!!!

Things to look forward to. So far this week has been really good (been really happy--don't know why). I realize that it's only Tuesday, but I have Friday off & now Monday! I'm going to Disneyland with Lan & the kids! Whooooo ha!! So I'm flying home Thursday night to spend Easter with the family, and I cancelled my flight home so I can drive down with Lani and the kids. Yay! Quality time with the family! Something to look forward to. I hope I keep feeling like this, I keep praying for good things--and I wish all my stuff from SJSU would hurry up and get to me. My first letter of rec is in, two more to come. I'm so tempted to open it up--but I did check off that I waive my option to see what they think of me. So yeah, still gotta wait....I hate waiting (even thought I'm pretty patient about a lot of things). Hope everything is going well with you, you're always in my thoughts. *HUG*

A Voice Within Young girl, don't cry, I'll be right here when your world starts to fall. Young girl, it's all right, Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly. When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream, Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems. No one ever wants or bothers to explain, Of the heartache life can bring and what it means. When there's no one else, Look inside yourself, Like your oldest friend, Just trust the voice within. Then you'll find the strength, That will guide your way, If you will learn to begin, To trust the voice within.... * * * * Lyrics that go round and round in my head. Been listening to Christina a lot...and I do mean A LOT. Trying to listen to myself, and at the same time listening to what others have to say. eh, who knows...i'll figure everything out in due time. I have lot's of hope, and faith. Who knows....

Omens So lately I've been going out with my friends, or they'd ask me to go hang with them & something or other. Normally I don't go out, I just hang at home--but more of my friends have been wanting to see me. Just the other night my friend Ron and I were talking about it, he's the one that said....maybe it's an omen. But you know, after thinking about it, it's possible--or just really really wishful thinking. We saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (my choice of course), it was a little hard to follow--but afterwards I think I got it. Now if that procedure was possible I don't think I'd be able to do it--but sometimes don't you think you can erase particular memories from your mind? I know that there are times that I can't remember details, or even a particular "event" happening--or maybe I just forget how I know someone entirely. But normally, I'll remember every single detail of what happened, and what was said...sometimes people don't even believe me--but I'll have some sort of proof (probably goes with me being a pack rat). Weird right? Maybe it is possible, who knows. Ahh, I don't know. I wonder who else will take me out. I hope it's an omen, that would be really nice...it could just be really wishful thinking--but I hope not.

Spring cleaning You know, I honestly don't know how I collected so much crap. I remember when I first moved down, I hardly had anything. Now I'm tripping all over stuff! I think I just really need to throw everything away. I need help, I can't go through all this by myself. I keep saying, "oh I need that--you never know when you'll need that." grrrrrrr, I HATE being such a pack rat...

I made her cry last night. I didn't mean to. I had her read my personal statement, she started critiquing, then she started crying. She tried to get off the phone with me, but I made her stay on and talk to me. I haven't even gotten accepted yet, and my mommy's crying already. I didn't mean to make her cry. I hate doing that. She said that when I first moved away to Southern Cali, said I'm leaving her. I'm not leaving her, I never move to get away from her. I'm sure she understands that I have to do this for myself, it's now or never (well not never--but I'm not getting any younger). They'll visit me of course, and I'll be home on the holidays...but they'll be in the pinas for half the year (since she's finally retiring), the other half in Cali. I hate feeling like this. I haven't even gotten accepted yet. I hope she'll get used to this, I know I'm going to hear it when I go home next week. Man, I'm all depressed now. I know it's hard when your daughter goes away, and I know it's even harder since I am the baby....but man, I'm not leaving her (or my family). If it happens (or when--I need to be positive), I hope they'll understand....

Flounder has a new friend.... but flounder is the only one that sleeps with me..... ;) .....and yes, wherever I end up--they're all coming with me!

I made it. So it's official, I sent my application & paid the fee tonight. The night before the deadline. It took me literally 3 hours to write my personal statement, so thank you Ollie, Maliza & Lissa, for helping me with all the revisions, "fine tuning" and all that. I REALLY appreciate it. Now all I gotta do is wait for my transcripts and letters of recommendations to come in...then I can send them off. I hope I get in (Moms is cool with it too now). So with all that, I think I'll eat my dinner and crash. * * * * Dammit, with all my application stuff I almost missed who got kicked off American Idol. grrrrrrrr.....

"You can't change the world, but you can make a dent." I want to make a lot of dents....

It's not to late. Okay talked to someone at Rutgers, I didn't miss the deadline. However, the deadline is April 1st (she suggested that I get in all my info in ASAP). So please excuse me as I get my ass in gear. I feel like I'm back in school and I have a paper due on friday. So anyone that wants to help with the re-reads would be greatly appreciated. Wish me luck!

I must be doing something right. So today after step class one of the girls came up to me (haven't seen her in a while), she told me my back looks smaller...and I look skinnier. Wow! I haven't done anything either. In fact, I haven't been going to the gym as much as I used to. Maybe it's my lenten sacrifice, and cutting the carbs. I don't know, but hey man....I got props. That put a big ass smile on my face, and it wasn't even from a guy. =) Also, I've been kicking myself in the ass....why the hell didn't I check to see if I had to take the GRE? Why didn't I check for schools earlier? Stupid bills, if I paid them off earlier maybe I would have been more prepared. I mean, I could qualify for other ways to get into the M.S.W. program at Rutgers for Fall '04....or should I wait? But if I wait, will I lose my momentum? I could take my time writing my personal statement (and I need to do a kick ass one--since my g.p.a. wasn't all that). But if I qualify for those other options, will they give me enough time to write? I could use the rest of this time to save up money, and work on my statement. ahhhhhh, I don't know. I have no problem getting everything else together. arrgghhhhh. I hope I can find someone to talk to tomorrow at Rutgers. Maybe they can clear some things up for me....

Applications So I printed up all the applications that I needed to, and I was looking over Rutgers application....I DON'T have to take the GRE. I wasn't sure, so I got on the phone and called the Admissions Office....she confirmed it. I DON'T! So I have a new plan. I'm gonna get everything ready and apply to Rutgers for Fall '04, and IF I don't get in, or it takes them a while to get back to me...I'll take the GRE later on in the year. I don't really want to apply to any other schools, but I gotta have my back up plans. This is so cool, way less stress now. Now I must concentrate and write a bomb ass personal statement. Anyone wanna help me out? Whoooo ha!!!! If you could see the smile on my face. Hopefully, I won't have to subject myself to that hideous test....

When the Rain Falls Oh...oo oo I don't understand This should be so easy To just reach my hand And know the world is free But nothing's, as it seems I can tell you freely Touching's not the only way to feel. When the rain falls It's like heaven's crying When the name's all The difference that there is Cause tears are The same when they are trying to grow something good Out of all the pain There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain. I know you proudly say That I'm just talking crazy To think of life that way Means that I'm confused There's happy and there's sad But maybe yes just maybe The sadness can make the happiness more true. When the rain falls It's like heaven's crying When the name's all The difference that there is Cause tears are The same when they are trying to grow something good Out of all the pain There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain. Because I know the bones were necessary I don't let it bother me at all. When the rain falls It's like heaven's crying When the name's all The difference that there is Cause tears are The same when they are trying to grow something good Out of all the pain There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain. Oh...oo oo * * * * * I know, I know. I really liked the lyrics....

Prep Work I started taking the GRE Diagnostic and doing lessons...i'm in for a lot of work! My head hurts a bit, but I haven't studied for anything in like five years. I think I'll start off slow then bring it up a notch or more. I'm focusing more on the reading comp, and analogies....anything that's reading for now. I'm gonna take my time with the math, I think I'll need A LOT of help with that. I have to print out applications this week so I can mail the letter of rec part up to my old professor. There is just way to much to do. I really wanna do good on the GRE, too bad I don't know anyone that is a GRE prep specialist (if there is such a thing)...or have a math whiz that can help me out with math. Man, I'm only starting too....and I can't wait till it's all over. hahah j/k. They say that it's all about strategy, and learning how to read the GRE way. So maybe after I know how to read the GRE way I'll have to learn how to read the Masters way. I'm just so used to reading for pleasure, ahhhh those were the days.

Lazy days.... So after a day full of Robotech, laundry and napping...I finally got off my bed and updated my resume and wrote my letter of intent (thanks Grace!). It just went off to my old professor. I think I'm happy with it, yeah....I am. Man, I love Saturdays. Sleeping in, watching Alley McBeal and 90210, or whatevers on Disney channel (sorry to those who can't enjoy these days-but I'm enjoying them for you!). It's wonderful. I wish weekends could be longer, I also wish I had a transporter thing from Star Trek...I would so be somewhere else right now. Or I wish my closet was like the closet in Narnia, I'd just meet everyone there. I guess I just gotta be patient, plan my trips right....and save up my money. While I'm doing all that, I'll prep for the GRE. On that note ima go play with the CD. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. *HUG*

So fresh and so clean.... Clean up is done and over with (blog at least), I feel so fresh and so clean. Leaving the past where it belongs, and I'm going with the flow...takin' it all day by day. I gotta tell ya, it feels daymn good. No more second guessing, no more what if's....it's all about now, and what I gotta do to get me to where I want to be. Everyone tells me that "this" is healthy, and I gotta admit....I'm loving it. So onwards I go, got two people to write me letters of rec's....gonna take the GRE diagnostic test on the CD this weekend, write a letter of intent and update my resume so my old professor can write my letter (he is so cool--he took us to the pub on the day it closed for beer & pizza....sorry to everyone after me, ya'll got stuck with fast food instead of alcohol). Gotta go through my closet to get rid of stuff I never use, bags that have been collecting dust....and throw out stuff that haven't been touched since I moved in here. Man, I got a lot to do. I hope everyone's doing alright....my thoughts are always with you. *hug*

The past is the past.... You can't bring your past mistakes into your future, and you can't move on until you let go. So I'm following bumblebootie's cue....and I'm doing some spring cleaning. I was going to all together kill this, and just use my lj (but I love my setup too much--put too much effort into it dammit!!). So yeah, over the next few weeks I'll be cleaning out my blog, and my apt. It's about that time....

Getting ready.... So I've been getting tips on what I need to do to prepare myself for applying to schools for Masters Programs. I even found 3 of my old professors emails, and emailed them tonight to see if they would write me letters of recommendation (I hope at least one of them will). One of my JAC sisters is actually attending school in Quezon City, Philippines....I forget what Masters Program she's in, but she's been giving me lots of pointers. I have to write down all my ideas, 'cause I tend to forget a lot of what I come up with. If that makes any sense. The hardest part (I think) will be when I write my personal statement, but she told me to just write down my ideas....and when I'm ready I should just write it out first--then edit it. That actually makes a lot of sense, seeing that I usually edit as I go (I tend to throw out a lot that way). Who knows maybe something profound will come out of it. HA! With my luck it'll take me months and months, and I still won't be happy with it. I also went to the book store today and bought a couple of GRE prep books (thanks Lissa!), GRE for dummies, and the Kaplan review book (w/ cd). Everyone's been telling me that I can study by myself instead of taking the courses, the only part I'd need help with probably is the math. We'll we shall see, I'll prep by myself and see how I do....if I don't do that great I'll invest in Kaplan or Princeton Review. I even found some other schools to apply to, but of course my first choice is Rutgers (the program looks really good), I doubt I can get into NYU since my cumulative GPA sucks big beans. We'll see, I have my options. I hope I can go to a part time program, so I can actually afford for a roof over my head, and food to fill my tummy (even if I have to live off of P&J for the first year). I feel so focused right now, the next thing for me to do is clean out my apartment (and study of course). I gotta get rid of a lot of clothes and shoes, and all the crap I tend to collect. I'm a COMPLETE pack rat...and I hate it. Someone has got to help me control that...I keep everything. I have old Esprit bags that have holes, or the zipper is broken, or something is wrong...but they're still in my closet. If anyone can help me control that....it would be much appreciated. If you came to my apartment you would wonder how I was able to collect all the crap I have. I really need to get rid of a lot, cause I ain't draggin all my crap to the other side of the continental united states. heheh Lan already volunteered to help me move over there. RODE TRIP hahhah. I think I'll get movers for that, but mebe we'll drive my car over...who knows? But nonetheless, this is a wonderful feeling. I think the last time I felt like this, I just changed my major from Psychology to Political Science (then added on Sociology for my minor). It also could have been when I got my first "real" job and packed all my clothes (and my computer) in my car and drove down to Orange County. I love this feeling, it's that knowing feeling....that something great is about to happen. Now if this actually does happen....wow, i'd impress myself. So yeah, I'm actually starting to do this...I really like it.

On Signs... Have you ever asked for a sign, or you see signs just pop out of no where? You see, I like to ask for signs for everything (albeit a guy, or jobs...whatever)... it's like reassurance to me. Of course, I'm the only one seeing these signs and know what they mean--but regardless I ask, they come, I'm happy. Like for instance, when I did the Prayer to the Little Flower of Jesus...I got my sign on the 4th day (4 being my favorite number). Little things like that, or whenever I see a particular car on the freeway I think of what that represents to me, and I get all goofy happy. Is that weird? I mean, I'm sure there are signs everywhere (no not the stop, yield or go ones)...I see some everyday. I have conversations with people in my dreams, and they feel so real (sometimes I even have those same conversations with the people--in real life not a dream). I found something that I've been looking for, for years even...in a place I would have never thought to find it. Are these just coincidences? Or is it really a sign of things to come? Do they mean something, or is it just wishful thinking? I mean, people tell me to have faith...and I do. I just wonder sometimes....don't you?

Congratulations to one of my favorite Manongs... I just wanted to congratulate Manong Merrick and Jen, they're expecting a mini Lardizabaul in September!! hmmmm, a year after they get married...daymn Manong you get things done! *snap* hehehe I know you wanted to have a family for a long time, and I'm really happy that you're finally having your dream come true! CONGRATULATIONS!! =)

In preparation.... So I was driving up the 5 on my way home when it struck me....I have to write a personal statement, and prepare for the GRE. I thought, what better way to prepare then to use my blog (which by the way was the reason why I started blogging), I need to start working on my writing. You know, grammar, spelling.....all that crap. I'm going to start trying to use more 50 cent words, and try to write about issues, and things of more substance rather than my randomness. So yeah, the entire time I was on the 152 I had all these ideas for a new post....but as usual, I forgot them all. I need to write them all down before I forget, either that or bring a recorder with me and tape my ideas whenever I think of anything. It's just too bad I think of everything when I'm driving, or in the middle of a project. Isn't it weird how the mind works? * * * * So the weekend was good, saw my people....and I'm happy. I got my beauteous new Coach watch (yes, it's love). The band is different than the one on the website, but it's okay....it looks good and I like it. Besides, I can always order the band I want later, or pick it up. The Coach-Movado place is in one of my favorite places to visit (and maybe eventually move to) .... Jersey! Of all places right? It's probably far from where I usually stay, but then again....it is Coach. So maybe it'll be closer than I think. Anyway, so now I won't have to bother anyone or pull out my celly every time I want to know what time it is. So babygirl is all good now, I have to get my cousin to fix something else on her....but after that she'll be perfect once again. I have to check her fluids more often, and check her tires...I tend to let things like that slide, but my bro always gives me a lecture whenever I do that. We'll be back in the bay in another 3 months for her check-up with uncle Noel. * * * * * So I'm back in the smoggy La-La Land. It was like a 5.5 hour drive (maybe less-I didn't really pay attention to what time it was when I left), and with the ipod time went by real quick. iCar monster is wonderful, everyone with an ipod should get that for their car. Back to the normal work week....BLAH. I can't wait to go back to school, but until then I have to start prepping. Oh, and I have to go to the book store and grab a GRE book and research the courses I can take to prepare. ahhh, at least I know what I'm doing now. =)

losing my mind!!! so i was getting ready and packing for my trip home today, and i was all proud of myself for packing everything in the little bag. so i'm finishing up packing this morning and i thought i was done....so i talk to grace and she asks me how my watch is. i'm like oh man! i almost forgot to pack my coach gc!! which, as some of you know IS one of the main reasons of this trip! i also ALMOST forgot my digi!! i swear, i'd lose my head if it wasn't attached. so i'm all ready (i think) for my trip now. i even have the icar monster cable thing for the ipod, which by the way works perfectly! screw itrip!! it's all about icar cable!! so yeah, all i have to do now is make it through the day...i even slept well! so yay! i gotta make it to d&b's tonight, so hopefully nothing bad will happen, and no unsurprising red and blue lights will flash. yay, home home home!! happy friday everyone!! *mwah*

thoughts.... my thoughts and prayers are with a dear friend and his family. like i said, if i was there i'd do whatever i could...but since i'm not i'll keep praying my hardest that things will get better. *HUG*

happy day first of all i'd like to wish my oldest brother eric a happy, happy birthday!!!! you're sooooooooo old!!! and... happy st. patty's day everyone!!! don't drink and drive!!!

focusing so i was checking the net (as usual) for schools to apply too. i found out that rutgers offers a m.s.w. in their school of social work (they even have part-time!!). i find that to be fascinating. so now that i found a school to focus on (i'll look for more in the area also...of course), now i must start prepping for the gre. i think my plans are starting to come too fruition, or parts are at least. i'm still working on plan 1, but i can work on 2 while i'm working on 1. i can multi-task!! =)

ranking.... i just checked the mazda rev it up site. yay kristy!!! she was #1 out of all the female oc competitors!!!! i made it in the top 100 (#97 =) ), and noel is #31 in the pro category!! yay, i think they're going to laguna seca for the finals (like noel did last year)!! this is awesome! =) **edit: correction, kristy is the #1 female driver nationwide (so far), and if you're the #1 female competitor nationwide then you go to finals. good luck kristy, hope everyone else sucks!!

mazda rev'n it up my bro and his girlfriend kristy came down for the weekend for the mazda rev it up. =) this is the 2nd year mazda has done this type of nationwide competition, actually my bro was #1 in the san francisco competition last year....but he wasn't able to pull it off this year (but he redeemed himself in in this weekend's competition in the oc =]) here we are right before one of our practice runs... so yeah we had fun tearing up the cars!! i wasn't so happy with my first run but i cut off 6 seconds in my second run and i ended with a time of 38.109...this is actually my best time (even better than my last years time). my brother just kept telling me to have fun & go fast, so when i got in there i was just telling myself, "you're in babygirl, you can do it." i know that was gay, but hell.....IT WORKED!! took off 6 seconds, HELL YEAH! and maybe having the radio on calmed me down a bit...i was super nervous during all my runs except this one, so yeah....i was pretty happy with myself. check us out! so afterwards we went to the oakley factory (which is that cool looking building after all the mazda rev it up pics), it was pretty friken cool man. but i was super tired driving back to la (i think i dozed off a few times cause i had to catch up a few times), but while driving i was messing with my contacts cause they were buggin right.....it was SUPER dry (so dry it popped out!!). i couldn't get it back in (and everyone else was asleep), i had to play with it and just stick it on my eye and start crying when it started stinging so it would stay in. i almost freaked out, but we were in traffic anyway so i was going slow enough to handle my car and handle my contact. yes, i was fully awake after all that. after dinner we all went to watch the passion. oh man, that was brutal (granted i fell asleep for a little in the beginning), i couldn't watch some of the scenes (i even started doing the coughing thing that i do when i see something that makes me nauseous or what not). but from what everyone was saying, it was historically correct (verbage wise i suppose)....but man i got all emotional (i didn't think i would). man oh man. so my bro and kristy left a little while ago, but not before they left me the ipod that my mom won. actually, it's the "family" ipod that i'm taking care of (they want me to put all the music and what not on there). but hey it's pretty daymn cool, and from what i gather it's one of the best. so yeah, hope you all had a good weekend.....ima go play with the ipod now. *mwah*

i'm on the hunt for the perfect watch. i haven't really wore one in a while (cause i hate the line you get during the summer), but i hate asking for the time all the time (when i don't want to look at my celly). i don't like the metal bands cause it hurts my wrist (and ever since i lost weight it just spins round and round around my wrist--since i'm a lazy ass and don't wanna get that fixed). anyone have any suggestions? my old standards have always been fossil and swatch...but i'm checking out this tommy hillfiger watch and i'm totally diggin it. either a light, light metal band, or a skinny leather band (preferably black of course). **edit: i just found a coach watch that i'm drooling over. okay wallet or watch? i still have some gc's that ima spend next weekend when i go home....man this is a tough one!

random mutterings since someone is bored at work, and wants something to comment to here you go (i didn't tell you to give up chatting at work for lent, but whatever). i've been in a rather loopy type mood...happy yet loopy mood. maybe it's in the air, or maybe i'm just allowing myself to feel this way again....i don't care....i'm happy! and while i'm doing this one of my friends is asking me why i gave up sweets for lent, since it's so good for you. he keeps telling me all he bought, and i keep telling him how i can't eat any of that. then he tells me that everyone is selling chocolate, there's chocolate everywhere!! i keep seeing all the sweet tasty things that want to go in my mouth, but alas....i cannot have such things for 5 or so more weeks. i keep dreaming and craving for sweet things, i stare at them, i hear them calling my name. but no, i must be strong. i gave up a lot this lenten season, but since i gave up one thing that would be virtually impossible at this point in time, i had to give up the sweets along with. now i'm craving them, they want me as much as i want them. all my friends are eating them in front of me, or talking to me about them. i need it, i want it, i must have it, i will have it....in 5 friken weeks. grrrr, this is so frustrating (as frustrating as waiting for the other thing i gave up even). if you know what else i gave up then you know what i mean, but if not....well sorry for you then. don't get me wrong, i'm happy.... i'm just craving those things that i love dearly, that i want badly, that i desire, yearn, need.....

heat wave!! so apparently, all of cali is having a heat wave this week. i really shouldn't be complaining since i know the rest of the nation is like 40 below or something. sorry guys, if i could send you our heat....i so would. i just can't stand the heat, give me winter any day, winter in jersey or nyc even....i can deal with that. but with heat comes the excema flare ups (arrgghhhh that's the worst thing ever)!! i wish i would just grow out of that, they told me when i was little that i would....but nooooooo i'm 30 and i still get flare ups!!! THEY LIED!!!! they just probably didn't know as much as they know now, but still....i believed them. heh, anyway....in other news. i'm happy. i don't know why, i've been happy all daymn day long (and i can't figure out why). mebe it's cause i'm staring at pictures (i love pictures)....i'm surrounded by them at my apt, and here at work. i love seeing my people smiling at me....makes me feel that all is right with the world. hope you all are having a good day. =)

up on my wall this is my favorite "piece" up in my room (i have a thing for collages), if you wanna see a bigger version click on it. so, what's up on yours? yes, i'm bored & i'm finding ways to entertain myself....

i am beautiful, no matter what they say.... words can't bring me down. the calm after the storm, the agony after the defeat, the pain after the numbness, letting it all go. the pain in my chest, has left me. paranoia is gone. breathing has become easier. i can sleep a deep sleep. i feel sane once again. i feel again. and i am excellent (good, okay, amazing, beautiful). * * * * * * * * **edit: i have come to the realization that with time .... everything gets better.

congratulations patty & brent!! yay!!! someone finally tied that girl down! congrats girl! you better not move before i do!!! i'm so happy for you. =)

hey all you californians VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!

It's My Life -no doubt It's funny how I find myself In love with you If I could buy my reasoning I'd pay to lose One half won't do I've wondered I've asked myself How much do you Commit yourself? It's my life Don't you forget It's my life It never ends (It never ends...) Funny how I blind myself I never knew If I was sometimes played upon Afraid to lose Oh, I'd tell myself What good do you do Convince myself Oh, It's my life Don't you forget Oh, It's my life It never ends (It never ends...) And I've asked myself How much do you Commit yourself? It's my life Don't you forget Caught in the crowd It never ends (its my life) It's my life Don't you forget Caught in the crowd It never ends (It never ends) Oh, It's my life... (oh its my life) Don't you forget... (don't you forget) Caught in the crowd... (caught in the crowd) It never ends (it never ends...) * * * * * * * * stuck in my head at the moment....

mammoth madness here we all are on top of dave's run... we like to call it "dave's walk", if i wasn't so tired after getting down that mountain i would have taken an after picture. that particular mountain took some of us (yes, me included) a long ass time to get down. after you go across a way (where we took the picture) you go down (into 4 ft or more of powder--and you have to go all the way down). that i think was the toughest mountain i went on...it wasn't a double black, but they were saying it was a black. but we all were walking most of that run. everything before and after that was really cake, but WE DID IT!!! so yeah, mammoth was by far the best boarding trip i've ever been on. the powder was so nice and fluffy (i just hated getting stuck in it--i should have just sat on my board and tried to slide down). i did a better job of getting off the lifts (i hardly fell!), i went down more black diamonds, and we all had a great time (with the exception of my migrane the first day). i made some new friends, and i'm really really really glad i went. i think i'm getting better! *click* *click* so there we all were. thank you for inviting me guys & thanks rianne for cooking! i think the only damage during this trip (for me) was i broke some of my nails (and i lost a lot of sleep). i don't see any bruises, and i'm not in a lot of pain! but we'll see how i feel tomorrow....

the mother of all mountains in cali at least. yes, i'm heading down to daygo after work, and from there....mammoth mountain. i'm finally going where everyone keeps talking about. two days of fun on fluffy white powder (thanks to the storm), hopefully i'll master the art of getting off a lift (and other things). am i excited? yeah...actually i am, i'm just in the worst moods ever. everything that could go wrong last night....did. issue after issue, and on top of that it was raining like no tomorrow (well, we did need it). i was running around with no umbrella (i know, i know), getting all my crap and then some....ending up at my favorite store ever....BEST BUY. and since it was ash wednesday, i ended up not eating dinner since all i have is meat (must go to grocery store when i get back). that so didn't help my mood either. stupid usb hub screwed everything up...but not to worry, i'm back in business thanks to my computer guru (he didn't even have to come over this time--he talked me through it over the phone). if it's not one thing, it's another....i'm just happy that things are working again. but i woke up late, forgot to pack my pj's (gotta go to vicky secrets or gap sometime today), hopefully i didn't forget anything else (at least i don't think i did). man, of all days to be grumpy...

ashes to ashes, dust to dust.... happy ash wednesday everyone! already got my ashes at 6:30 in the morning (and i even woke up late-talk about getting ready quick style). i made 3 lenten sacrifices for this year (i usually try to make things in 4s but i couldn't think of another one) and i'm hoping to make it through the 40 days and 40 nights with no problem. i made big ones too this year, it's gonna be tough but i know i can do it. basically, all my sacrifices have to do with things that make me super happy (and i love being happy, sometimes over and over....). but anyway, be gone with the sweets, sugar rushes, and pleasurable times. this time around i'm REALLY sacrificing. wish me luck, and good luck to all of you who observe....

friendship's like a season, some stay for just that season... and some stay the whole entire season i got that from my girl gen, i thought it was appropriate for my mood (especially lately). i've been reminiscing about a lot of things as of late, mostly the friendships i've had thoughout the years. all the people that i've met before we left cali, and when we got back. it's just funny who i keep contact with now, and who i don't, and the reasons we lost contact. it's just weird. like for instance, my brothers best friend (howard) was my sadie hawkins date from my junior year of high school. in fact, back then i wasn't allowed to date....so in order for me to go to the dance, noel had to go. they've been friends ever since, and since then we've been tight (no matter who came or went, that connection was always tight). in fact, howards's current girlfriend is one of my good friends (at least i consider her to be)....actually, she's the one who gave me that quote. weird right? i mean we have our little circle of friends, and whenever i go home they make me feel like i've never left. it's really nice. then i have the friends that i've met through state, or through irc. let's say these are from my college years (that's what i tell my parents anway). the majority of my friends now are from this period of my life, and it's just funny that we all still keep in contact....some of them i'm closer to now than i was back then. for some time i really didn't talk to some of them, then we all get in one room and it's as if no time has passed (that's the true test of friendship, and i love them all). so slowly but surely i've been getting back in touch with everyone, and i wonder why we ever lost contact. in fact, one of my very best friends i met back in highschool...but we weren't as close then as we are now. you see, she was really cool (she was in dice) and i just wanted to hang with her...we kept in contact (and i never lost faith in her) and now we're the best of friends. she's always checking up on me to make sure i'm doing good, or if i ate (man the girl can cook!). my other best friend i met through my old best friend (i didn't lose faith in her either), we always talked to each other once a year at least (after i moved down to la)...but recently she crawled out from under her rock and i talk to her if not every day, every other day....in fact she went with me to jersey recently. we made a pact to go somewhere every year (and if i move out east she's gonna visit me--even when it's cold). i've learned that no matter where i go, how far or close...these people will always be important to me. i'm always gonna be there for them no matter what (thank goodness for free longdistance and nights starting at 7pm). and as long as you have faith, they'll be there...and i'll be there for the long haul. i'm more of a entire season kind of friend (unless you burn the bridge so badly that there is no recovery in sight). i'm really glad for the friends that are still around, and i'm even happier for those that i've gotten closer to. it makes me have a mushy feeling inside (and i actually like feeling that way). you all know who you are. i'm glad i didn't lose faith.

only in la.... saw the weirdest thing on the news this morning...butt facials. the lady getting it done says that men are into butts these days, and well ya need to take care of your "assets" anyway. it came complete with a massage, and a green tea type looking mask. it was the weirdest thing, it's like the regular facial but for your butt. anyway, just thought i'd share that with ya'll. happy monday! *mwah*

stuck in my head.... I Knew I Loved You ~ Savage Garden Maybe it's intuition, But some things you Just don't question Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant And there it goes I think I found my best friend I know that it might sound More than a little crazy But I believe ... ~ * ~ * ~ I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life. ~ * ~ * ~ There's just no rhyme or reason Only the sense of completion And in your eyes, I see the missing pieces I'm searching for I think I've found my way home I know that it might sound More than a little crazy But I believe ... ~ * ~ * ~ I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life. ~ * ~ * ~ A thousand angels dance around you, I am complete now that I've found you. ~ * ~ * ~ I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life. ~ * ~ * ~ I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life.....

reminisce over you it's only in our twilight years when our pace is slowed and the long race is nearing the end, that we spend most of our time looking backwards...and we wonder why we were ever in such a hurry. love, heartbreak, pleasure and pain. in the end, it's all passion...use them both. some people see the forest, some people see the trees. ~everwood

girlfriends A young wife sat on a porch on a summer day, drinking tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about marriage, and the responsibilities of life, the mother turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter. "Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends. Remember to go places and do things with them. And remember that girlfriends are not only your friends, but your sisters, your daughters, and other relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do." "What a funny piece of advice," the young woman thought. "Haven't I just gotten married?" "Haven't I just joined the couple-world?" "Surely my husband, and the family we'll start, will fill my life." But she listened to her mother; she kept contact with her girlfriends and made more each year. As the years went by, she came to understand what her mom was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the mainstays of her life. After 50 years of living in this world, here is what I know about girlfriends: Girlfriends bring you food and wine and scrub your bathroom when you need help. Girlfriends keep your children and keep your secrets. Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it; sometimes you don't. Girlfriends don't always tell you that you're right, but they're usually honest. Girlfriends still love you, even when they don't agree with your choices. Girlfriends laugh with you, and you don't need canned jokes to start the laughter. Girlfriends pull you out of jams. Girlfriends help you get out of bad relationships. Girlfriends help you look for a new apartment, help you pack, and help you move or move you in with them. Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby, in whichever order that comes. Girlfriends are there for you, in an instant, and when the hard times come. Girlfriends will drive through blizzards, rainstorms, hail, heat, and gloom of night to get to you when your hour of need is desperate. Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a friend. Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart. Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail. Girlfriends cry with you when someone you loved dies. Girlfriends support you when the men in your life let you down. Girlfriends help you pick up the pieces when men pack up and go. Girlfriends rejoice at what makes you happy, and are ready to go out and kill what makes you unhappy. Times passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Marriages fail. Love waxes and wanes. Hearts break. Careers end. Jobs come and go. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Men don't call when they say they will. But girlfriends are there, no matter how much time & how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out. My daughter, sister, sisters-in-law, mother-in-law,daughter-in-law, nieces, cousins, extended family, and friends bless my life. The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead, nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to the women who help make your life work. I just did. i might not have that much girlfriends (you know who you are), but i love each and every one of you. you know i'm always there for you, no matter how close, or how far i may be. *mwah*

something to keep in mind I think that what happens as you get older is that you start to live more for others than you do for yourself. To see someone that you care about smile and appreciate you, to help someone through difficult times, to really live for others, and in turn, this becomes your life, to make the lives of those you care about better, doing whatever it takes. Whether that be working the night shift until your hands become bleeding and calloused, putting aside everything, to just hear what was said to be heard, it's being who you are. Sincerity, being genuine in your motives, it's not enough to simply believe in your self, believe in your friends, your family, the people in your lives, something greater than yourself; and live for them, and they'll live with you. And that's most important, to live with people that believe in you, and people you can believe in too. ~Revelations 21 : 3 - 6~ stolen from bumblebootie. thanks girl! =)

it's my two year anniversary.... with TSMP! this is the longest job i've had....EVER! now the question is....will i make it to next year? will i make it to the next christmas party? hmmmmm....what will happen next? at least i got a raise.

jersey round 2 so we're back from our trip to the east. we had the best time, it was just really busy (and cold). this time around i brought lani so i wouldn't be the only cold one, and i wanted her to meet everyone over there. we walked all over the place & we hit up rockefeller & central park.... but i didn't go iceskating since a) the line was long and b) no one wanted to skate with me. we went to times square, 5th ave, passed st. patricks, went shopping at h&m (and all those shops on our way to central park & rockefeller), hopkee and i don't remember what the name of that bar was. oh and we made it to the met (i've always wanted to go there) that was an all day adventure (too bad we lost our map holder--he needed to carry a big sign or something). i still don't understand why you can't use your cell inside. but thanks for holding my bag phil, i didn't realize how much stuff i had inside...it was really hurting my back! i just wanted to say thanks to phil for losing sleep to pick us up, and showing us around (we really did have the best time--just was surprised how cold it really was) also, thanks to tim for helping phil shows us around. and thanks guys for showing us how to "commit". i think i'm gonna use that from now on. * click* *click* so there's the pics, we had the best time. now all i have to do is test out spring and summer, then plan 2 comes in effect. so i'm pretty tired, i just wanted to post this up and thank phil again, you are the best tour guide. i mean, walking all that way in the cold, while smoking....that IS an accomplishment. heheh thanks sweetie. okay bed time! night night all. *mwah*

one more day... the excitement is building, and we both wanna go already. they're installing my washing machine, gotta do my nails, gotta finish shopping, gotta finish packing. i can't wait to get my ass on a plane! whooooo ha! jersey here we come!!! 1/30

happy real birthday mommy!! i just wanted to wish my mommy a happy "real" birthday (her "hospital" or "birth certificate" birthday is on valentines day). and also a happy birthday to my big brother alfrancis. even though i know you won't ever see this, i'll see you one of these days.... 4/30

one of my favorite things... or actually places to eat. but unlike the little shack type deal they used to have (with just the tables outside to sit at), this one is way updated! it's the fanciest albertos i've ever been to, with a playground and everything. it's like mcdonalds!! it's even nice on the inside, complete with video games area and televisions (all on the spanish channels of course). but it was way cool! oh yeah, their still is the tables on the outside. you see... they only have these in like oc & daygo (this one happened to be in the oc area). arnie aka sk00by was kind enough to take me here before we headed down to daygo for mary's birthday party. they have the best carne asada chipys! i think i just like their guacamole, but man it was good! ya'll want good mexican? go there! daygo was fun, but i didn't bring my cam in so not a lot of pics (and i have to wait till arnie sends me copies to post them up). but all i gotta say is the wine was so nasty that i was chasing it down with water! bleu!! sangria was good, and i'm glad mary had a great time. good times again with the daygo heads, looking forward to mammoth (hopefully i can get it off)!! **edit:: here's a few more pics! 5/30

seven days.....

OLD PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO DRIVE!!! so i was driving in to work, minding my own business...then this old man tries to get into my lane WHILE I WAS STILL IN IT!!! i didn't even have a chance to do anything (since he was right next to me), i didn't even have a chance to see his signal light!!! so i honk right, he still continues to get into my lane while i'm still honking!!! i literally had to stop and wait till the f*cker moved over. HE ALMOST HIT ME!!! i mean really, if someone is honking at you wouldn't you stop trying to do what you were doing and WAIT till it's clear to change lanes? oh no, the f*cker just kept on going his merry way, as if he was in the right. sh*t, if i didn't notice he wasn't going straight anymore and crossing my line then he WOULD have hit me! i swear, that's just the perfect way to start my day.... 8/30

neverending circles "it's amazing how far we'll go just to maintain some measure of control. the world spins a circle within a circle, and we grip so tight, it makes our knuckles white...when all we really wanna do is let go, lose control, fall, see where we land." -from everwood monday night 12/30