Spring cleaning You know, I honestly don't know how I collected so much crap. I remember when I first moved down, I hardly had anything. Now I'm tripping all over stuff! I think I just really need to throw everything away. I need help, I can't go through all this by myself. I keep saying, "oh I need that--you never know when you'll need that." grrrrrrr, I HATE being such a pack rat...

I made her cry last night. I didn't mean to. I had her read my personal statement, she started critiquing, then she started crying. She tried to get off the phone with me, but I made her stay on and talk to me. I haven't even gotten accepted yet, and my mommy's crying already. I didn't mean to make her cry. I hate doing that. She said that when I first moved away to Southern Cali, said I'm leaving her. I'm not leaving her, I never move to get away from her. I'm sure she understands that I have to do this for myself, it's now or never (well not never--but I'm not getting any younger). They'll visit me of course, and I'll be home on the holidays...but they'll be in the pinas for half the year (since she's finally retiring), the other half in Cali. I hate feeling like this. I haven't even gotten accepted yet. I hope she'll get used to this, I know I'm going to hear it when I go home next week. Man, I'm all depressed now. I know it's hard when your daughter goes away, and I know it's even harder since I am the baby....but man, I'm not leaving her (or my family). If it happens (or when--I need to be positive), I hope they'll understand....

Flounder has a new friend.... but flounder is the only one that sleeps with me..... ;) .....and yes, wherever I end up--they're all coming with me!

I made it. So it's official, I sent my application & paid the fee tonight. The night before the deadline. It took me literally 3 hours to write my personal statement, so thank you Ollie, Maliza & Lissa, for helping me with all the revisions, "fine tuning" and all that. I REALLY appreciate it. Now all I gotta do is wait for my transcripts and letters of recommendations to come in...then I can send them off. I hope I get in (Moms is cool with it too now). So with all that, I think I'll eat my dinner and crash. * * * * Dammit, with all my application stuff I almost missed who got kicked off American Idol. grrrrrrrr.....

"You can't change the world, but you can make a dent." I want to make a lot of dents....

It's not to late. Okay talked to someone at Rutgers, I didn't miss the deadline. However, the deadline is April 1st (she suggested that I get in all my info in ASAP). So please excuse me as I get my ass in gear. I feel like I'm back in school and I have a paper due on friday. So anyone that wants to help with the re-reads would be greatly appreciated. Wish me luck!

I must be doing something right. So today after step class one of the girls came up to me (haven't seen her in a while), she told me my back looks smaller...and I look skinnier. Wow! I haven't done anything either. In fact, I haven't been going to the gym as much as I used to. Maybe it's my lenten sacrifice, and cutting the carbs. I don't know, but hey man....I got props. That put a big ass smile on my face, and it wasn't even from a guy. =) Also, I've been kicking myself in the ass....why the hell didn't I check to see if I had to take the GRE? Why didn't I check for schools earlier? Stupid bills, if I paid them off earlier maybe I would have been more prepared. I mean, I could qualify for other ways to get into the M.S.W. program at Rutgers for Fall '04....or should I wait? But if I wait, will I lose my momentum? I could take my time writing my personal statement (and I need to do a kick ass one--since my g.p.a. wasn't all that). But if I qualify for those other options, will they give me enough time to write? I could use the rest of this time to save up money, and work on my statement. ahhhhhh, I don't know. I have no problem getting everything else together. arrgghhhhh. I hope I can find someone to talk to tomorrow at Rutgers. Maybe they can clear some things up for me....

Applications So I printed up all the applications that I needed to, and I was looking over Rutgers application....I DON'T have to take the GRE. I wasn't sure, so I got on the phone and called the Admissions Office....she confirmed it. I DON'T! So I have a new plan. I'm gonna get everything ready and apply to Rutgers for Fall '04, and IF I don't get in, or it takes them a while to get back to me...I'll take the GRE later on in the year. I don't really want to apply to any other schools, but I gotta have my back up plans. This is so cool, way less stress now. Now I must concentrate and write a bomb ass personal statement. Anyone wanna help me out? Whoooo ha!!!! If you could see the smile on my face. Hopefully, I won't have to subject myself to that hideous test....

When the Rain Falls Oh...oo oo I don't understand This should be so easy To just reach my hand And know the world is free But nothing's, as it seems I can tell you freely Touching's not the only way to feel. When the rain falls It's like heaven's crying When the name's all The difference that there is Cause tears are The same when they are trying to grow something good Out of all the pain There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain. I know you proudly say That I'm just talking crazy To think of life that way Means that I'm confused There's happy and there's sad But maybe yes just maybe The sadness can make the happiness more true. When the rain falls It's like heaven's crying When the name's all The difference that there is Cause tears are The same when they are trying to grow something good Out of all the pain There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain. Because I know the bones were necessary I don't let it bother me at all. When the rain falls It's like heaven's crying When the name's all The difference that there is Cause tears are The same when they are trying to grow something good Out of all the pain There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain. Oh...oo oo * * * * * I know, I know. I really liked the lyrics....

Prep Work I started taking the GRE Diagnostic and doing lessons...i'm in for a lot of work! My head hurts a bit, but I haven't studied for anything in like five years. I think I'll start off slow then bring it up a notch or more. I'm focusing more on the reading comp, and analogies....anything that's reading for now. I'm gonna take my time with the math, I think I'll need A LOT of help with that. I have to print out applications this week so I can mail the letter of rec part up to my old professor. There is just way to much to do. I really wanna do good on the GRE, too bad I don't know anyone that is a GRE prep specialist (if there is such a thing)...or have a math whiz that can help me out with math. Man, I'm only starting too....and I can't wait till it's all over. hahah j/k. They say that it's all about strategy, and learning how to read the GRE way. So maybe after I know how to read the GRE way I'll have to learn how to read the Masters way. I'm just so used to reading for pleasure, ahhhh those were the days.

Lazy days.... So after a day full of Robotech, laundry and napping...I finally got off my bed and updated my resume and wrote my letter of intent (thanks Grace!). It just went off to my old professor. I think I'm happy with it, yeah....I am. Man, I love Saturdays. Sleeping in, watching Alley McBeal and 90210, or whatevers on Disney channel (sorry to those who can't enjoy these days-but I'm enjoying them for you!). It's wonderful. I wish weekends could be longer, I also wish I had a transporter thing from Star Trek...I would so be somewhere else right now. Or I wish my closet was like the closet in Narnia, I'd just meet everyone there. I guess I just gotta be patient, plan my trips right....and save up my money. While I'm doing all that, I'll prep for the GRE. On that note ima go play with the CD. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. *HUG*

So fresh and so clean.... Clean up is done and over with (blog at least), I feel so fresh and so clean. Leaving the past where it belongs, and I'm going with the flow...takin' it all day by day. I gotta tell ya, it feels daymn good. No more second guessing, no more what if's....it's all about now, and what I gotta do to get me to where I want to be. Everyone tells me that "this" is healthy, and I gotta admit....I'm loving it. So onwards I go, got two people to write me letters of rec's....gonna take the GRE diagnostic test on the CD this weekend, write a letter of intent and update my resume so my old professor can write my letter (he is so cool--he took us to the pub on the day it closed for beer & pizza....sorry to everyone after me, ya'll got stuck with fast food instead of alcohol). Gotta go through my closet to get rid of stuff I never use, bags that have been collecting dust....and throw out stuff that haven't been touched since I moved in here. Man, I got a lot to do. I hope everyone's doing alright....my thoughts are always with you. *hug*

The past is the past.... You can't bring your past mistakes into your future, and you can't move on until you let go. So I'm following bumblebootie's cue....and I'm doing some spring cleaning. I was going to all together kill this, and just use my lj (but I love my setup too much--put too much effort into it dammit!!). So yeah, over the next few weeks I'll be cleaning out my blog, and my apt. It's about that time....

Getting ready.... So I've been getting tips on what I need to do to prepare myself for applying to schools for Masters Programs. I even found 3 of my old professors emails, and emailed them tonight to see if they would write me letters of recommendation (I hope at least one of them will). One of my JAC sisters is actually attending school in Quezon City, Philippines....I forget what Masters Program she's in, but she's been giving me lots of pointers. I have to write down all my ideas, 'cause I tend to forget a lot of what I come up with. If that makes any sense. The hardest part (I think) will be when I write my personal statement, but she told me to just write down my ideas....and when I'm ready I should just write it out first--then edit it. That actually makes a lot of sense, seeing that I usually edit as I go (I tend to throw out a lot that way). Who knows maybe something profound will come out of it. HA! With my luck it'll take me months and months, and I still won't be happy with it. I also went to the book store today and bought a couple of GRE prep books (thanks Lissa!), GRE for dummies, and the Kaplan review book (w/ cd). Everyone's been telling me that I can study by myself instead of taking the courses, the only part I'd need help with probably is the math. We'll we shall see, I'll prep by myself and see how I do....if I don't do that great I'll invest in Kaplan or Princeton Review. I even found some other schools to apply to, but of course my first choice is Rutgers (the program looks really good), I doubt I can get into NYU since my cumulative GPA sucks big beans. We'll see, I have my options. I hope I can go to a part time program, so I can actually afford for a roof over my head, and food to fill my tummy (even if I have to live off of P&J for the first year). I feel so focused right now, the next thing for me to do is clean out my apartment (and study of course). I gotta get rid of a lot of clothes and shoes, and all the crap I tend to collect. I'm a COMPLETE pack rat...and I hate it. Someone has got to help me control that...I keep everything. I have old Esprit bags that have holes, or the zipper is broken, or something is wrong...but they're still in my closet. If anyone can help me control that....it would be much appreciated. If you came to my apartment you would wonder how I was able to collect all the crap I have. I really need to get rid of a lot, cause I ain't draggin all my crap to the other side of the continental united states. heheh Lan already volunteered to help me move over there. RODE TRIP hahhah. I think I'll get movers for that, but mebe we'll drive my car over...who knows? But nonetheless, this is a wonderful feeling. I think the last time I felt like this, I just changed my major from Psychology to Political Science (then added on Sociology for my minor). It also could have been when I got my first "real" job and packed all my clothes (and my computer) in my car and drove down to Orange County. I love this feeling, it's that knowing feeling....that something great is about to happen. Now if this actually does happen....wow, i'd impress myself. So yeah, I'm actually starting to do this...I really like it.

On Signs... Have you ever asked for a sign, or you see signs just pop out of no where? You see, I like to ask for signs for everything (albeit a guy, or jobs...whatever)... it's like reassurance to me. Of course, I'm the only one seeing these signs and know what they mean--but regardless I ask, they come, I'm happy. Like for instance, when I did the Prayer to the Little Flower of Jesus...I got my sign on the 4th day (4 being my favorite number). Little things like that, or whenever I see a particular car on the freeway I think of what that represents to me, and I get all goofy happy. Is that weird? I mean, I'm sure there are signs everywhere (no not the stop, yield or go ones)...I see some everyday. I have conversations with people in my dreams, and they feel so real (sometimes I even have those same conversations with the people--in real life not a dream). I found something that I've been looking for, for years even...in a place I would have never thought to find it. Are these just coincidences? Or is it really a sign of things to come? Do they mean something, or is it just wishful thinking? I mean, people tell me to have faith...and I do. I just wonder sometimes....don't you?

Congratulations to one of my favorite Manongs... I just wanted to congratulate Manong Merrick and Jen, they're expecting a mini Lardizabaul in September!! hmmmm, a year after they get married...daymn Manong you get things done! *snap* hehehe I know you wanted to have a family for a long time, and I'm really happy that you're finally having your dream come true! CONGRATULATIONS!! =)

In preparation.... So I was driving up the 5 on my way home when it struck me....I have to write a personal statement, and prepare for the GRE. I thought, what better way to prepare then to use my blog (which by the way was the reason why I started blogging), I need to start working on my writing. You know, grammar, spelling.....all that crap. I'm going to start trying to use more 50 cent words, and try to write about issues, and things of more substance rather than my randomness. So yeah, the entire time I was on the 152 I had all these ideas for a new post....but as usual, I forgot them all. I need to write them all down before I forget, either that or bring a recorder with me and tape my ideas whenever I think of anything. It's just too bad I think of everything when I'm driving, or in the middle of a project. Isn't it weird how the mind works? * * * * So the weekend was good, saw my people....and I'm happy. I got my beauteous new Coach watch (yes, it's love). The band is different than the one on the website, but it's okay....it looks good and I like it. Besides, I can always order the band I want later, or pick it up. The Coach-Movado place is in one of my favorite places to visit (and maybe eventually move to) .... Jersey! Of all places right? It's probably far from where I usually stay, but then again....it is Coach. So maybe it'll be closer than I think. Anyway, so now I won't have to bother anyone or pull out my celly every time I want to know what time it is. So babygirl is all good now, I have to get my cousin to fix something else on her....but after that she'll be perfect once again. I have to check her fluids more often, and check her tires...I tend to let things like that slide, but my bro always gives me a lecture whenever I do that. We'll be back in the bay in another 3 months for her check-up with uncle Noel. * * * * * So I'm back in the smoggy La-La Land. It was like a 5.5 hour drive (maybe less-I didn't really pay attention to what time it was when I left), and with the ipod time went by real quick. iCar monster is wonderful, everyone with an ipod should get that for their car. Back to the normal work week....BLAH. I can't wait to go back to school, but until then I have to start prepping. Oh, and I have to go to the book store and grab a GRE book and research the courses I can take to prepare. ahhh, at least I know what I'm doing now. =)

losing my mind!!! so i was getting ready and packing for my trip home today, and i was all proud of myself for packing everything in the little bag. so i'm finishing up packing this morning and i thought i was done....so i talk to grace and she asks me how my watch is. i'm like oh man! i almost forgot to pack my coach gc!! which, as some of you know IS one of the main reasons of this trip! i also ALMOST forgot my digi!! i swear, i'd lose my head if it wasn't attached. so i'm all ready (i think) for my trip now. i even have the icar monster cable thing for the ipod, which by the way works perfectly! screw itrip!! it's all about icar cable!! so yeah, all i have to do now is make it through the day...i even slept well! so yay! i gotta make it to d&b's tonight, so hopefully nothing bad will happen, and no unsurprising red and blue lights will flash. yay, home home home!! happy friday everyone!! *mwah*

thoughts.... my thoughts and prayers are with a dear friend and his family. like i said, if i was there i'd do whatever i could...but since i'm not i'll keep praying my hardest that things will get better. *HUG*

happy day first of all i'd like to wish my oldest brother eric a happy, happy birthday!!!! you're sooooooooo old!!! and... happy st. patty's day everyone!!! don't drink and drive!!!

focusing so i was checking the net (as usual) for schools to apply too. i found out that rutgers offers a m.s.w. in their school of social work (they even have part-time!!). i find that to be fascinating. so now that i found a school to focus on (i'll look for more in the area also...of course), now i must start prepping for the gre. i think my plans are starting to come too fruition, or parts are at least. i'm still working on plan 1, but i can work on 2 while i'm working on 1. i can multi-task!! =)

ranking.... i just checked the mazda rev it up site. yay kristy!!! she was #1 out of all the female oc competitors!!!! i made it in the top 100 (#97 =) ), and noel is #31 in the pro category!! yay, i think they're going to laguna seca for the finals (like noel did last year)!! this is awesome! =) **edit: correction, kristy is the #1 female driver nationwide (so far), and if you're the #1 female competitor nationwide then you go to finals. good luck kristy, hope everyone else sucks!!

mazda rev'n it up my bro and his girlfriend kristy came down for the weekend for the mazda rev it up. =) this is the 2nd year mazda has done this type of nationwide competition, actually my bro was #1 in the san francisco competition last year....but he wasn't able to pull it off this year (but he redeemed himself in in this weekend's competition in the oc =]) here we are right before one of our practice runs... so yeah we had fun tearing up the cars!! i wasn't so happy with my first run but i cut off 6 seconds in my second run and i ended with a time of 38.109...this is actually my best time (even better than my last years time). my brother just kept telling me to have fun & go fast, so when i got in there i was just telling myself, "you're in babygirl, you can do it." i know that was gay, but hell.....IT WORKED!! took off 6 seconds, HELL YEAH! and maybe having the radio on calmed me down a bit...i was super nervous during all my runs except this one, so yeah....i was pretty happy with myself. check us out! so afterwards we went to the oakley factory (which is that cool looking building after all the mazda rev it up pics), it was pretty friken cool man. but i was super tired driving back to la (i think i dozed off a few times cause i had to catch up a few times), but while driving i was messing with my contacts cause they were buggin right.....it was SUPER dry (so dry it popped out!!). i couldn't get it back in (and everyone else was asleep), i had to play with it and just stick it on my eye and start crying when it started stinging so it would stay in. i almost freaked out, but we were in traffic anyway so i was going slow enough to handle my car and handle my contact. yes, i was fully awake after all that. after dinner we all went to watch the passion. oh man, that was brutal (granted i fell asleep for a little in the beginning), i couldn't watch some of the scenes (i even started doing the coughing thing that i do when i see something that makes me nauseous or what not). but from what everyone was saying, it was historically correct (verbage wise i suppose)....but man i got all emotional (i didn't think i would). man oh man. so my bro and kristy left a little while ago, but not before they left me the ipod that my mom won. actually, it's the "family" ipod that i'm taking care of (they want me to put all the music and what not on there). but hey it's pretty daymn cool, and from what i gather it's one of the best. so yeah, hope you all had a good weekend.....ima go play with the ipod now. *mwah*

i'm on the hunt for the perfect watch. i haven't really wore one in a while (cause i hate the line you get during the summer), but i hate asking for the time all the time (when i don't want to look at my celly). i don't like the metal bands cause it hurts my wrist (and ever since i lost weight it just spins round and round around my wrist--since i'm a lazy ass and don't wanna get that fixed). anyone have any suggestions? my old standards have always been fossil and swatch...but i'm checking out this tommy hillfiger watch and i'm totally diggin it. either a light, light metal band, or a skinny leather band (preferably black of course). **edit: i just found a coach watch that i'm drooling over. okay wallet or watch? i still have some gc's that ima spend next weekend when i go home....man this is a tough one!

random mutterings since someone is bored at work, and wants something to comment to here you go (i didn't tell you to give up chatting at work for lent, but whatever). i've been in a rather loopy type mood...happy yet loopy mood. maybe it's in the air, or maybe i'm just allowing myself to feel this way again....i don't care....i'm happy! and while i'm doing this one of my friends is asking me why i gave up sweets for lent, since it's so good for you. he keeps telling me all he bought, and i keep telling him how i can't eat any of that. then he tells me that everyone is selling chocolate, there's chocolate everywhere!! i keep seeing all the sweet tasty things that want to go in my mouth, but alas....i cannot have such things for 5 or so more weeks. i keep dreaming and craving for sweet things, i stare at them, i hear them calling my name. but no, i must be strong. i gave up a lot this lenten season, but since i gave up one thing that would be virtually impossible at this point in time, i had to give up the sweets along with. now i'm craving them, they want me as much as i want them. all my friends are eating them in front of me, or talking to me about them. i need it, i want it, i must have it, i will have it....in 5 friken weeks. grrrr, this is so frustrating (as frustrating as waiting for the other thing i gave up even). if you know what else i gave up then you know what i mean, but if not....well sorry for you then. don't get me wrong, i'm happy.... i'm just craving those things that i love dearly, that i want badly, that i desire, yearn, need.....

heat wave!! so apparently, all of cali is having a heat wave this week. i really shouldn't be complaining since i know the rest of the nation is like 40 below or something. sorry guys, if i could send you our heat....i so would. i just can't stand the heat, give me winter any day, winter in jersey or nyc even....i can deal with that. but with heat comes the excema flare ups (arrgghhhh that's the worst thing ever)!! i wish i would just grow out of that, they told me when i was little that i would....but nooooooo i'm 30 and i still get flare ups!!! THEY LIED!!!! they just probably didn't know as much as they know now, but still....i believed them. heh, anyway....in other news. i'm happy. i don't know why, i've been happy all daymn day long (and i can't figure out why). mebe it's cause i'm staring at pictures (i love pictures)....i'm surrounded by them at my apt, and here at work. i love seeing my people smiling at me....makes me feel that all is right with the world. hope you all are having a good day. =)

up on my wall this is my favorite "piece" up in my room (i have a thing for collages), if you wanna see a bigger version click on it. so, what's up on yours? yes, i'm bored & i'm finding ways to entertain myself....

i am beautiful, no matter what they say.... words can't bring me down. the calm after the storm, the agony after the defeat, the pain after the numbness, letting it all go. the pain in my chest, has left me. paranoia is gone. breathing has become easier. i can sleep a deep sleep. i feel sane once again. i feel again. and i am excellent (good, okay, amazing, beautiful). * * * * * * * * **edit: i have come to the realization that with time .... everything gets better.

congratulations patty & brent!! yay!!! someone finally tied that girl down! congrats girl! you better not move before i do!!! i'm so happy for you. =)

hey all you californians VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!

It's My Life -no doubt It's funny how I find myself In love with you If I could buy my reasoning I'd pay to lose One half won't do I've wondered I've asked myself How much do you Commit yourself? It's my life Don't you forget It's my life It never ends (It never ends...) Funny how I blind myself I never knew If I was sometimes played upon Afraid to lose Oh, I'd tell myself What good do you do Convince myself Oh, It's my life Don't you forget Oh, It's my life It never ends (It never ends...) And I've asked myself How much do you Commit yourself? It's my life Don't you forget Caught in the crowd It never ends (its my life) It's my life Don't you forget Caught in the crowd It never ends (It never ends) Oh, It's my life... (oh its my life) Don't you forget... (don't you forget) Caught in the crowd... (caught in the crowd) It never ends (it never ends...) * * * * * * * * stuck in my head at the moment....

mammoth madness here we all are on top of dave's run... we like to call it "dave's walk", if i wasn't so tired after getting down that mountain i would have taken an after picture. that particular mountain took some of us (yes, me included) a long ass time to get down. after you go across a way (where we took the picture) you go down (into 4 ft or more of powder--and you have to go all the way down). that i think was the toughest mountain i went on...it wasn't a double black, but they were saying it was a black. but we all were walking most of that run. everything before and after that was really cake, but WE DID IT!!! so yeah, mammoth was by far the best boarding trip i've ever been on. the powder was so nice and fluffy (i just hated getting stuck in it--i should have just sat on my board and tried to slide down). i did a better job of getting off the lifts (i hardly fell!), i went down more black diamonds, and we all had a great time (with the exception of my migrane the first day). i made some new friends, and i'm really really really glad i went. i think i'm getting better! *click* *click* so there we all were. thank you for inviting me guys & thanks rianne for cooking! i think the only damage during this trip (for me) was i broke some of my nails (and i lost a lot of sleep). i don't see any bruises, and i'm not in a lot of pain! but we'll see how i feel tomorrow....

the mother of all mountains in cali at least. yes, i'm heading down to daygo after work, and from there....mammoth mountain. i'm finally going where everyone keeps talking about. two days of fun on fluffy white powder (thanks to the storm), hopefully i'll master the art of getting off a lift (and other things). am i excited? yeah...actually i am, i'm just in the worst moods ever. everything that could go wrong last night....did. issue after issue, and on top of that it was raining like no tomorrow (well, we did need it). i was running around with no umbrella (i know, i know), getting all my crap and then some....ending up at my favorite store ever....BEST BUY. and since it was ash wednesday, i ended up not eating dinner since all i have is meat (must go to grocery store when i get back). that so didn't help my mood either. stupid usb hub screwed everything up...but not to worry, i'm back in business thanks to my computer guru (he didn't even have to come over this time--he talked me through it over the phone). if it's not one thing, it's another....i'm just happy that things are working again. but i woke up late, forgot to pack my pj's (gotta go to vicky secrets or gap sometime today), hopefully i didn't forget anything else (at least i don't think i did). man, of all days to be grumpy...

ashes to ashes, dust to dust.... happy ash wednesday everyone! already got my ashes at 6:30 in the morning (and i even woke up late-talk about getting ready quick style). i made 3 lenten sacrifices for this year (i usually try to make things in 4s but i couldn't think of another one) and i'm hoping to make it through the 40 days and 40 nights with no problem. i made big ones too this year, it's gonna be tough but i know i can do it. basically, all my sacrifices have to do with things that make me super happy (and i love being happy, sometimes over and over....). but anyway, be gone with the sweets, sugar rushes, and pleasurable times. this time around i'm REALLY sacrificing. wish me luck, and good luck to all of you who observe....

friendship's like a season, some stay for just that season... and some stay the whole entire season i got that from my girl gen, i thought it was appropriate for my mood (especially lately). i've been reminiscing about a lot of things as of late, mostly the friendships i've had thoughout the years. all the people that i've met before we left cali, and when we got back. it's just funny who i keep contact with now, and who i don't, and the reasons we lost contact. it's just weird. like for instance, my brothers best friend (howard) was my sadie hawkins date from my junior year of high school. in fact, back then i wasn't allowed to date....so in order for me to go to the dance, noel had to go. they've been friends ever since, and since then we've been tight (no matter who came or went, that connection was always tight). in fact, howards's current girlfriend is one of my good friends (at least i consider her to be)....actually, she's the one who gave me that quote. weird right? i mean we have our little circle of friends, and whenever i go home they make me feel like i've never left. it's really nice. then i have the friends that i've met through state, or through irc. let's say these are from my college years (that's what i tell my parents anway). the majority of my friends now are from this period of my life, and it's just funny that we all still keep in contact....some of them i'm closer to now than i was back then. for some time i really didn't talk to some of them, then we all get in one room and it's as if no time has passed (that's the true test of friendship, and i love them all). so slowly but surely i've been getting back in touch with everyone, and i wonder why we ever lost contact. in fact, one of my very best friends i met back in highschool...but we weren't as close then as we are now. you see, she was really cool (she was in dice) and i just wanted to hang with her...we kept in contact (and i never lost faith in her) and now we're the best of friends. she's always checking up on me to make sure i'm doing good, or if i ate (man the girl can cook!). my other best friend i met through my old best friend (i didn't lose faith in her either), we always talked to each other once a year at least (after i moved down to la)...but recently she crawled out from under her rock and i talk to her if not every day, every other day....in fact she went with me to jersey recently. we made a pact to go somewhere every year (and if i move out east she's gonna visit me--even when it's cold). i've learned that no matter where i go, how far or close...these people will always be important to me. i'm always gonna be there for them no matter what (thank goodness for free longdistance and nights starting at 7pm). and as long as you have faith, they'll be there...and i'll be there for the long haul. i'm more of a entire season kind of friend (unless you burn the bridge so badly that there is no recovery in sight). i'm really glad for the friends that are still around, and i'm even happier for those that i've gotten closer to. it makes me have a mushy feeling inside (and i actually like feeling that way). you all know who you are. i'm glad i didn't lose faith.

only in la.... saw the weirdest thing on the news this morning...butt facials. the lady getting it done says that men are into butts these days, and well ya need to take care of your "assets" anyway. it came complete with a massage, and a green tea type looking mask. it was the weirdest thing, it's like the regular facial but for your butt. anyway, just thought i'd share that with ya'll. happy monday! *mwah*

stuck in my head.... I Knew I Loved You ~ Savage Garden Maybe it's intuition, But some things you Just don't question Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant And there it goes I think I found my best friend I know that it might sound More than a little crazy But I believe ... ~ * ~ * ~ I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life. ~ * ~ * ~ There's just no rhyme or reason Only the sense of completion And in your eyes, I see the missing pieces I'm searching for I think I've found my way home I know that it might sound More than a little crazy But I believe ... ~ * ~ * ~ I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life. ~ * ~ * ~ A thousand angels dance around you, I am complete now that I've found you. ~ * ~ * ~ I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life. ~ * ~ * ~ I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life.....

reminisce over you it's only in our twilight years when our pace is slowed and the long race is nearing the end, that we spend most of our time looking backwards...and we wonder why we were ever in such a hurry. love, heartbreak, pleasure and pain. in the end, it's all passion...use them both. some people see the forest, some people see the trees. ~everwood

girlfriends A young wife sat on a porch on a summer day, drinking tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about marriage, and the responsibilities of life, the mother turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter. "Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends. Remember to go places and do things with them. And remember that girlfriends are not only your friends, but your sisters, your daughters, and other relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do." "What a funny piece of advice," the young woman thought. "Haven't I just gotten married?" "Haven't I just joined the couple-world?" "Surely my husband, and the family we'll start, will fill my life." But she listened to her mother; she kept contact with her girlfriends and made more each year. As the years went by, she came to understand what her mom was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the mainstays of her life. After 50 years of living in this world, here is what I know about girlfriends: Girlfriends bring you food and wine and scrub your bathroom when you need help. Girlfriends keep your children and keep your secrets. Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it; sometimes you don't. Girlfriends don't always tell you that you're right, but they're usually honest. Girlfriends still love you, even when they don't agree with your choices. Girlfriends laugh with you, and you don't need canned jokes to start the laughter. Girlfriends pull you out of jams. Girlfriends help you get out of bad relationships. Girlfriends help you look for a new apartment, help you pack, and help you move or move you in with them. Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby, in whichever order that comes. Girlfriends are there for you, in an instant, and when the hard times come. Girlfriends will drive through blizzards, rainstorms, hail, heat, and gloom of night to get to you when your hour of need is desperate. Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a friend. Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart. Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail. Girlfriends cry with you when someone you loved dies. Girlfriends support you when the men in your life let you down. Girlfriends help you pick up the pieces when men pack up and go. Girlfriends rejoice at what makes you happy, and are ready to go out and kill what makes you unhappy. Times passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Marriages fail. Love waxes and wanes. Hearts break. Careers end. Jobs come and go. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Men don't call when they say they will. But girlfriends are there, no matter how much time & how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out. My daughter, sister, sisters-in-law, mother-in-law,daughter-in-law, nieces, cousins, extended family, and friends bless my life. The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead, nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to the women who help make your life work. I just did. i might not have that much girlfriends (you know who you are), but i love each and every one of you. you know i'm always there for you, no matter how close, or how far i may be. *mwah*

something to keep in mind I think that what happens as you get older is that you start to live more for others than you do for yourself. To see someone that you care about smile and appreciate you, to help someone through difficult times, to really live for others, and in turn, this becomes your life, to make the lives of those you care about better, doing whatever it takes. Whether that be working the night shift until your hands become bleeding and calloused, putting aside everything, to just hear what was said to be heard, it's being who you are. Sincerity, being genuine in your motives, it's not enough to simply believe in your self, believe in your friends, your family, the people in your lives, something greater than yourself; and live for them, and they'll live with you. And that's most important, to live with people that believe in you, and people you can believe in too. ~Revelations 21 : 3 - 6~ stolen from bumblebootie. thanks girl! =)

it's my two year anniversary.... with TSMP! this is the longest job i've had....EVER! now the question is....will i make it to next year? will i make it to the next christmas party? hmmmmm....what will happen next? at least i got a raise.

jersey round 2 so we're back from our trip to the east. we had the best time, it was just really busy (and cold). this time around i brought lani so i wouldn't be the only cold one, and i wanted her to meet everyone over there. we walked all over the place & we hit up rockefeller & central park.... but i didn't go iceskating since a) the line was long and b) no one wanted to skate with me. we went to times square, 5th ave, passed st. patricks, went shopping at h&m (and all those shops on our way to central park & rockefeller), hopkee and i don't remember what the name of that bar was. oh and we made it to the met (i've always wanted to go there) that was an all day adventure (too bad we lost our map holder--he needed to carry a big sign or something). i still don't understand why you can't use your cell inside. but thanks for holding my bag phil, i didn't realize how much stuff i had inside...it was really hurting my back! i just wanted to say thanks to phil for losing sleep to pick us up, and showing us around (we really did have the best time--just was surprised how cold it really was) also, thanks to tim for helping phil shows us around. and thanks guys for showing us how to "commit". i think i'm gonna use that from now on. * click* *click* so there's the pics, we had the best time. now all i have to do is test out spring and summer, then plan 2 comes in effect. so i'm pretty tired, i just wanted to post this up and thank phil again, you are the best tour guide. i mean, walking all that way in the cold, while smoking....that IS an accomplishment. heheh thanks sweetie. okay bed time! night night all. *mwah*

one more day... the excitement is building, and we both wanna go already. they're installing my washing machine, gotta do my nails, gotta finish shopping, gotta finish packing. i can't wait to get my ass on a plane! whooooo ha! jersey here we come!!! 1/30

happy real birthday mommy!! i just wanted to wish my mommy a happy "real" birthday (her "hospital" or "birth certificate" birthday is on valentines day). and also a happy birthday to my big brother alfrancis. even though i know you won't ever see this, i'll see you one of these days.... 4/30

one of my favorite things... or actually places to eat. but unlike the little shack type deal they used to have (with just the tables outside to sit at), this one is way updated! it's the fanciest albertos i've ever been to, with a playground and everything. it's like mcdonalds!! it's even nice on the inside, complete with video games area and televisions (all on the spanish channels of course). but it was way cool! oh yeah, their still is the tables on the outside. you see... they only have these in like oc & daygo (this one happened to be in the oc area). arnie aka sk00by was kind enough to take me here before we headed down to daygo for mary's birthday party. they have the best carne asada chipys! i think i just like their guacamole, but man it was good! ya'll want good mexican? go there! daygo was fun, but i didn't bring my cam in so not a lot of pics (and i have to wait till arnie sends me copies to post them up). but all i gotta say is the wine was so nasty that i was chasing it down with water! bleu!! sangria was good, and i'm glad mary had a great time. good times again with the daygo heads, looking forward to mammoth (hopefully i can get it off)!! **edit:: here's a few more pics! 5/30

seven days.....

OLD PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO DRIVE!!! so i was driving in to work, minding my own business...then this old man tries to get into my lane WHILE I WAS STILL IN IT!!! i didn't even have a chance to do anything (since he was right next to me), i didn't even have a chance to see his signal light!!! so i honk right, he still continues to get into my lane while i'm still honking!!! i literally had to stop and wait till the f*cker moved over. HE ALMOST HIT ME!!! i mean really, if someone is honking at you wouldn't you stop trying to do what you were doing and WAIT till it's clear to change lanes? oh no, the f*cker just kept on going his merry way, as if he was in the right. sh*t, if i didn't notice he wasn't going straight anymore and crossing my line then he WOULD have hit me! i swear, that's just the perfect way to start my day.... 8/30

neverending circles "it's amazing how far we'll go just to maintain some measure of control. the world spins a circle within a circle, and we grip so tight, it makes our knuckles white...when all we really wanna do is let go, lose control, fall, see where we land." -from everwood monday night 12/30

serendipity 1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident. 2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries. 3. An instance of making such a discovery. i love this movie, and i love this song.... waiting in vain -annie lennox From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, boy, My heart said follow through But I know now that I'm way down on your line But the waiting feeling's fine. So don't treat me like a puppet on a string 'Cause I know how to do my thing. Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb, I wanna know when you're gonna come. See, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love, 'Cause summer is here, I'm still waiting there, Winter is here and I'm still waiting there. Like I said, it's been three years since I'm knocking on your door And I still can knock some more. Ooh boy, ooh boy, is it crazy love ? I wanna know now For I to knock some more. You see... In life I know there is lots of grief But your love is my relief. Tears in my eyes burn, tears in my eyes burn While I'm waiting, while I'm waiting for my turn. See, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love, 'Cause summer is here, I'm still waiting there, Winter is here and I'm still waiting there. Like I said, it's been three years since I'm knocking on your door And I still can knock some more. Ooh boy, ooh boy, is it crazy love ? I wanna know now Like I said, tears in my eyes burn, tears in my eyes burn While I'm waiting, while I'm waiting for my turn, see Ooh boy, ooh boy, is it crazy love ? I wanna know now For I to knock some more. In love I know there is lots of grief But your love is my relief. * * * * * * * * there's this part in the movie when they're in rockefeller center iceskating.....i wanna do that. it's not that i believe in fate so much, but i do believe that you control your destiny (my main theme if you will). i know this is just a movie, but wouldn't it be so cool if something like that were to happen.....a fortunate accident, or maybe some things are just meant to be. it could happen. you never know right. 13/30

what a difference a strip makes i've been using the crest whitestrips premium (i'm on my 6th day). whatcha think? the after pic was actually on the 5th day, and it's much brighter now. my teeth are a little sensitive when i eat cold stuff, but it tingles a bit then goes away. either way looks like the strips work! whooo ha! go try it, it's not expensive at all....and you can do it all in the privacy of your own home (rather than spend a grip at the doctor's office). so there's my recommendation of the month. enjoy! 15/30

look what i did mini-story (complete w/ pictures) my boy rob came down for work.... (doesn't the promenade look nice at night?) continue here.... 16/30

you must get this (or at least watch it) radio is finally out on dvd! go watch it, rent it, buy it.....YOU MUST SEE IT!! also, friends season 6 is out on dvd....buy it! i pre-ordered it (yes i know what a dork i am). have a good day everyone! and go rent or buy radio! you GOTTA see it! =) *mwah* 17/30

I WENT DOWN A BLACK DIAMOND!! if i didn't have that daymn migrane i would have done more (i think we went down them a couple of times...those tricksters!!). the boys just pointed & i followed. we got there early, so i got some good runs in before lunch (and migrane)...now all i have to do is master the art of getting off a lift. 19/30

hey ya!!! 20/30

Way You Look Tonight -Frank Sinatra Someday, when I'm awfully low, When the world is cold I will feel a glow just thinking of you And the way you look tonight. Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm And your cheeks so soft, There is nothing for me but to love you, And the way you look tonight. With each word your tenderness grows, Tearing my fear apart... And that laugh that wrinkles your nose, It touches my foolish heart. Lovely ... Never, ever change. Keep that breathless charm. Won't you please arrange it ? 'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight. And that laugh that wrinkles your nose, it touches my foolish heart. Lovely... don't you ever change Keep that breathless charm. Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you...and Just the way you look tonight Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm, Just the way you look to-night. * * * * * * * i have no idea why, but i have this stuck in my head. . . . 20/30

gung hai fat choi!! *mwah* 22/30

check it, check it out.... thas right baby....hardcore since '74!! check out what we did =) 23/30

this is the goal... wish me luck, back to the gym again.... 25/30

New Pink & White M&M's! The makers of M&M candies has teamed up with the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation to raise funds through the sale of their new "pink & white " M&M candies. For each 8-ounce bag of the special candies sold, the makers of M&M's (Masterfoods) will donate 50 cents to the foundation. The next time you want a treat, please pick up a bag (now sold in stores nationwide) - you will be donating to a great cause and satisfying your sweet tooth. Please pass on to all your family and friends. -- Thank you * * * * * * * * as a favor to my family....if you get a sweet tooth please pick up a bag. my aunt that passed away recently had breast cancer...so if you get a sweet tooth, keep this in mind. or.... a donation in Mrs. Coquia's name to the Susan G. Komen, Breast Cancer Foundation, San Francisco Afiliate, P.O. Box 29316, San Francisco, CA 94129-0136 would be also greatly appreciated. thank you. 29/30

my birthday, cienna's birthday & a celebration of life so yes, i'm 30. i have come to terms with it, but it's cool....everyone else is following me. thas right! we're all getting older...DEAL WITH IT! so this is what i did all week, or mostly what i did. enjoy! *click* *click* 30/30

for auntie lina "To the world, you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world." may you rest in peace. i love you.

ahhhhhhhh, something to lighten the day....
You are going to marry Orlando Bloom. He will always treat you right and is very romantic. He will do anything for you. He is very polite and has deep brown eyes and is very good looking (which is another plus!). He can make anything cheesy look really good (like sliding down stairs on a shield shooting arrows or wearing pointy ears for example). Congrats!!
Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla i knew it. =)

an angel has fallen please keep my auntie lina coquia and the coquia family in your prayers. we found out that she passed on earlier, or late last night. she had breast cancer, but we all thought with the surgery she'd be okay....i don't know the details. please keep them in your prayers. thank you.

=) *mwah*

my elfin name is.... Itarild� Ciryatan what's yours?

manigong bagong taon! this past year has had it's up's and it's downs. i am very thankful for all my friends that seen me through it all, and are still around. i am very thankful for my family, their understanding and their love. i am thankful for the friendships i have made throughout the year, and especially the ones who i've reconnected with. this next year (well in a few days) i'm going to hit a big milestone, i'm turning...yes, i'm turning 30. i'm always excited at the end of the year since i was born a few days after the new year. i used to think of it as the best time to do after christmas shopping (with the great sales and all).....but the closer i got to this year, the less i thought of nicely wrapped boxes, or things i can get myself. as i look back i have accomplished quite a deal...and i'm looking forward to this next year to do all the things i'd hoped to accomplish (yes, i'm going to start prepping for the GRE and start looking into schools). i finally finished paying off all my bills (thank god!) and paid off my car to my brother...i also made it to my 2nd christmas party with my firm. now that in and of itself is a big deal (i never make it to the 2nd christmas party!). so here's to the new year, i hope this next year will bring you all much happiness, success & all that you deserve. thank you all for being there...here we go 2004!

happy new years (again) so i'm here at my boy arnie's pad aka skooby if you know him from irc. so we're watching over underaged people drink and pass out. i'm just chilling w/ the red wine that i brought and just laughing my ass off at the one that made the song about me......you know stand up...instead replace the words with .....when i lean you lean...hahahahhah yeah that's funny shit. anyway, ya'll have a happy new year! everyone who called me is slurring their asses off and arnie is laughing as i'm typing this. hope you all had a good one! to old acquaintence we forgot, and to the days of auld lang syne. yes i'm surrounded by frat boys and sorority chicks....yeah...... hope you all are having fun! *mwahhhhhhhhh*

just wanted to say..... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! be safe everyone, don't drink and drive!! *mwah*

look what i got! isn't she so pretty.... so yay, i got it! whooo hoooo! *dances in circles* =) that was the longest two months in my life!! j/k now i must accessorize!

vacation all i ever wanted, vacation had to get away.... we were home for a week!! and this is what we did.... *click* *click*

merry christmas eve!!! have you finished your shopping yet? i have!! so i'm wrapping! happy holidays everyone! be safe out there!!! *mwah*

birthday greetings...... i wish i had the ability to be in two places at once, since i can't i'd like to wish two of my most beautiful friends a most happy happy birthday. so.......... happy birthday to mah girly gen!!!! and happy birthday phil!!! *mwah* & *hug* hope you guys have a most beautiful day! i'm taking a half day today just for you guys!!!! =D

lions and tigers and bears...oh my! so there wasn't a whole lotta lions (just that lazy one), no tigers or bears....but they had this bad boy! click here for more! *rawrrrrr*

christmas partayyyyyyyyy yay, today's our party! heeheh i'm gonna get drunk starting at 1:00, gorge on pasta & yummy tasties. food and drinks on the firm. =) whoooo hooooo! happy holidays to one and all! i so need a drink right now. =)

going down hard? i think not. say what you will, give me all your excuses...i don't care, lakes rule all!!!! *fist in air* especially the mail man. *YUM* my new favorite. =) i can't wait for them to play the warriors again....we're so there! =)

JANUARY: Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious. * * * * * * * * * heh, this is so very true....

Santa is Quitting? T'was the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money--the reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought that things would get better, Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter. They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny. Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money? And the kids these days--they all are the pits. They want the impossible--those mean little shits. I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds, Assembling dolls...their arms, legs and heads. I made a ton of yo yo's--NO request for them. They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM! Flying through the air...dodging the trees, Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees. I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment. I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment. There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason, I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!

what would you do? Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or Saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart....if you don't, you might break theirs. Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had. *What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye? *What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? *What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore) *What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? *What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them? *People live, but people die. I want to tell you that you are a friend. If you died tomorrow (God Forbid) you would be in my heart. Would I be in yours? If you care about me as much as I care about you, you will send this back You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that. So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life, I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you, most of all I CARE about friends. *mwah*

this was my thanksgiving.... click here, if you want more... how was yours?

T'was The Nite Of Thanksgiving Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep. The leftovers beckoned -- the dark meat and white, But I fought the temptation with all of my might! Tossing and turning with anticipation The thought of a snack became infatuation. So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore. I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes, Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes. I felt myself swelling so plump and so round, Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground. I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie. But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees.... Happy eating to all--pass the cranberries, please. May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump. May your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump, May your yams be delicious, may your pies take the prize, May your Thanksgiving dinner stay OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.

I Think This Applies To You A good woman is proud of herself. She respects herself and others. She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs. A good woman is hopeful. She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true. She knows love, therefore she gives love. She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated. If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears. A good woman has a dash of inspiration, a dabble of endurance. She knows that she will, at times, have to inspire others to reach the potential God gave them. A good woman knows her past, understands her present and moves toward the future. A good woman knows God. She knows that with God the world is her playground, but without God she will just be played. A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons, meant to bring her closer to self knowledge and unconditional self love. Girl Smile.....YOU KNOW YOU HAVE IT GOING ON! ......So Keep ON Keeping On. * * * * * * * * * i might have posted this up here before...but i don't care -- i'm passing it on. =)

something nice to think about... four more days....and i'm home! *dance in circles* i can't wait. too bad 'rents are gonna be in the pinas. ahhhh, it's cool...t-day schedule is already set. can't wait, i so can't wait.

things to keep in mind... Maybe we are meant to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us. Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile. There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. Always put yourself in others shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can�t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying. *mwah*

it's that time again... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE BESTEST BROTHERS IN THE WORLD!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOEL!!! *mwah*

the little things... in a conversation i had with a friend via im then on the phone we were talking about all the little things. little things you ask? let me explain... i was first trying to get his opinion on what he thought of something (going about it in a roundabout way of course), and i didn't exactly get the reaction i was going for. so i explained myself by bringing up something totally different (yet kinda related to what i was getting at). it's like the first drag of a cig after you've had a bad day...or when you find out someone appreciates some little things you do, and let's you know they appreciate that. or when someone gives you something that you talked about a long time ago, remembered about it, got it (or already had it) and eventually gives it to you. or when someone asks you how your day went, and really listened to you. a random call, just to say hi (or a text). or the first kiss, a gentle touch, or kind words when you're feeling like shit. those are the little things that i like so much, and appreciate daily. after explaining myself he changed his answer and told me that yeah, he would like and appreciate that too. you see, it's ALL ABOUT the little things. they are the most important. remember that.

changes.... as some of you may have noticed, i've been changing things here and there...along with the color scheme (it reminds me of vanilla bean ice cream & strawberry toppings!!). i got some of the my latest update ideas from mike and bumblebootie. i thought they looked cool so i kinda mixed it up and added a little. thanks guys! it gives me more of an 'identity' if you will. so yeah, along with the changes to the blog...i've been having a lot of life changes. for once...I'M OUT OF DEBT!! completely! no credit card debt, and i don't owe my bro anything for my car anymore. so ya'll know what that means. full speed ahead on school! i'm gonna take the next step and prep for and get the bestest GRE score i can possibly get. then apply to every single school i can apply to [location doesn't matter!!]. ahhh, life right now, at this moment....is GOOD. once i get the GRE out of the way and i'm in school, then i can take on other things...but for now, i'm REALLY happy. ahhhh, it's good to be happy ain't it? and the best thing about it is....i have the greatest friends that believe in me. actually, had a great talk with shan tonight...but that's another topic for another night. so with all that, i shall bid you adieu. *MWAH*

Schwarzenegger Set to Take Office Mon Nov 17, 3:07 AM ET By TOM CHORNEAU, Associated Press Writer SACRAMENTO, Calif. - In a departure from recent inaugurations, there will be no big parties and no gala balls after Arnold Schwarzenegger (news - web sites) takes the oath of office as California's 38th governor. Bitterness over the divisive recall vote and the state's fiscal troubles have put a damper on livelier festivities � although plenty of celebrities promised to be on hand. The night before the Austrian-born actor was to take the oath, stars such as Rob Lowe, Rob Reiner and Tom Arnold were seen around town, and former U.S. Secretary of State George Shultz was among a group of transition advisers who met with the governor-elect. Even Schwarzenegger's relatives added a bit of glamour. Meeting with the transition team Sunday, Schwarzenegger took time out to thank his mother-in-law, Eunice Shriver, the sister of the late President Kennedy. Eunice Shriver's daughter, Maria Shriver, is married to Schwarzenegger. "I want to thank my mother-in-law who has come out so many times since I announced my candidacy," he said. "Campaigning with me, driving with the bus up and down, being out there, talking and speaking." Eunice Shriver had said that even President Kennedy would have voted for the Republican, Schwarzenegger said, but then he paused and added with a laugh, "I'm just making that up." Schwarzenegger, elected last month at the same time Democratic Gov. Gray Davis (news - web sites) was recalled, was scheduled to be sworn in Monday during an hourlong ceremony on the steps of the state Capitol. About 7,500 guests were invited to attend. Schwarzenegger's wife, Maria Shriver, was expected to hold the Bible while California Supreme Court Chief Justice Ronald George administered the oath. Aides said that Schwarzenegger planned a brief speech. Later in the day he was to attend three events: a luncheon inside the Capitol rotunda for state and federal officials, a private family gathering across the street and an invitation-only reception sponsored by the state Chamber of Commerce (news - web sites). But Schwarzenegger also planned to get to work quickly. He was scheduled to return to the Capitol by mid-afternoon to start the business of running California's government, a job that became more daunting over the weekend when Schwarzenegger's chief financial deputy pegged the state budget deficit at $25 billion � far more than other estimates. First on Schwarzenegger's to-do list may be his promise to issue a first-day-in-office executive order repealing the increase in the car tax. Schwarzenegger also has said he will call the Legislature back into session, probably Tuesday, to deal with a range of issues including midyear budget cuts, reform of the state's worker compensation system and a repeal of a new law that lets undocumented workers get driver's licenses. Mindful of the bitterness that still surrounds the first transfer of power after the recall, not to mention the state's trouble with red ink, the Schwarzenegger team planned no black-tie balls, a departure from some past California inaugurations. In 1995, Natalie Cole sang at then-Gov. Pete Wilson's inaugural gala. The 1999 inaugural for Davis included a $3.7 million event featuring Lionel Richie, Kenny G and a reading by "Happy Days" actor Henry Winkler. Davis toned down his second inaugural, held earlier this year amid the state's fiscal crisis, to a casual party at an auditorium with the swing band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy entertaining. This time, the inauguration promises to be well documented. Requests for press credentials came from TV crews and print journalists around the globe � including Japan, Australia, France, Germany, the United Kingdom and, of course, Schwarzenegger's native Austria. Nearly 650 journalists were set to cover the swearing-in � as many as might cover a presidential inauguration. "Sacramento has never seen anything like this before � it is astonishing," said Sherry Bebitch Jeffe, a political scientist at the University of Southern California. "There has never been this kind of intense media attention on the governor at anytime in the state." http://story.news.yahoo.com * * * * * * * * * * * we shall see now. won't we....

random quote... The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post. -- George Bernard Shaw

Your Weekly Horoscope for Nov 17 to 23 Dear Eileen Joy, You will certainly get more than a few revelations over the course of this week, mainly because of all the planetary activity going on in the 'mystical' and 'karmic' sector of your chart. For some time now, the cosmos has been introducing you to new ways to understand and perceive what is going on in your world. Your vision is being expanded to encompass the spiritual and the physical as one holistic event, rather than the two being split apart. The solar Eclipse in Sagittarius is going to make you even more aware of the subtle energies that govern your world, and direct the course of events, sometimes without you even being aware of it. This is why you need to stay calm and centered, if certain deep-seated issues in your life suddenly raise their heads. It is time to face them fearlessly, and to find out just why they have posed such a problem. This may also cause you to feel unsure of yourself, and uncertain as to your next steps along the path. But as everything begins to settle, you too will begin to feel so much more positive about the way things seem to be panning out. A new start will become very evident. Best wishes for today, from the astrologers of Yahoo-Astrocenter * * * * * * * * very, very interesting....

You Won't Believe What Happens at Age 30 The new age of adulthood: 30. Our extended adolescence has really, well, extended. But according to Josh Albertson, Lockhart Steele, and Jonathan Van Gieson, authors of the new "Book of Ages 30," life begins at 30. Thirty is cool. Party on, dude! That should be good news to the 3,789,800 Americans who will turn 30 this year. Unlike their parents, today's thirtysomethings think of this milestone as a new beginning and not an end. Priorities shift. New things become important. Uh oh. You're adulthood is showing. "When we started writing this book, I really didn't feel like there was a whole lot of buzz about being 30," Albertson told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. "Now there is a lot of talk of 30 being the new 21. People are looking at it as the beginning of adulthood. I think people put off growing up for longer. Sometimes people look up when they're 30 and sort of wonder where they are and what they've done." So who are America's thirtysomethings and what do they have to look forward to? "Book of Ages 30" has an interesting take on it: How Old IS 30? If you're 30, you're old--specifically, you're older than 42 percent of all Americans. But you're not alone. Fifteen percent of Americans are also in their 30s. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Being 30 If you're 30, you've already lost 10 percent of your muscle mass. You're likely to be in debt to the tune of $20,000. But the good news is that you're also likely to be having sex 2.24 times a week. Sex While 81 percent of women and 71 percent of men have been married by their early 30s, there are plenty who are still virgins after their 30th birthday: 1 in 33 men and 1 in 25 women. Your Good Looks Men at 30 are on average 5' 10.2" tall and weigh 174 pounds, while 30-year-old women are 5' 4.6" tall and weigh 130 pounds. Let's Talk Money The median income for 30-year-old men is $30,510, while the median income for 30-year-old women is $21,473. On average, 30 year olds have held 7.5 jobs. They have a 24 percent chance of being promoted in the next year. Career Peaks and Valleys J.K. Rowling published the first volume in the "Harry Potter" series just before she turned 32. By 30, Harrison Ford went from being a carpenter to an actor in "American Graffiti," and back to being a carpenter. Remember Mr. T? At age 30, in case you wondered, he was about to play the villain in "Rocky III." When they were 30, no one other than their family and friends knew who Oprah Winfrey or Jane Austen were. No More Naps You're less likely to fall asleep at your desk than those young twentysomething whippersnappers down the hallway. Just over half of 18- to 29-year-olds report substantial daytime sleepiness, compared with 33 percent of the over-30 crowd. Don't Shoot! Nearly half, 45 percent, of all thirtysomethings own a firearm. In fact, more people in their 30s own firearms than do people in any other decade of their lives. click here for the article * * * * * * * * interesting read...don't ya think? thanks manong merrick! =)

random quotes i am the lord of the living room, the king of the kingdom... i am...drunk. we meet again. truth? i care about the job, of course. but mostly...i want to be inspired. some dudes might have the calm, but they'll never have the qualm, it means love, respect, community, and the dollars too... the entire package, the qualm. it's a risk... you bet on me, like i bet on you. do you love her? i don't know. what do you mean you don't know? you know when you know. ...i didn't shoplift the puti, fine. i shoplifted the puti. maybe you all are correct, maybe men are the enemy, but i still love the enemy. hello, hello? i'm looking for my wife. wait, okay, okay, this is where it has to happen then this is where it has to happen. i'm not letting you get rid of me, how about that? this used to be my specialty, you know, i was good in the living room, they would send me in there, and i'd do it alone, now i just... but tonight, our little project, our company, had a very big night, a very, very big night. but it wasn't complete, wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because i couldn't share it with you, i couldn't hear your voice, or laugh about it with you, i miss, i miss my wife. we live in a cynical world... a cynical world. and we work in a world of tough competitors, i love you, you complete me... i'm just.... shut up, just shut up... you had me at hello... you had me at hello. you are my ambassador of qualm. hey, i don't have all the answers. in life (to be honest) i've failed as much as i've succeeded. but i love my wife, i love my life, and i wish you my kind of success. * * * * * * * * i love that movie.

Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women Thursday, October 2, 2003 Posted: 9:19 AM EDT (1319 GMT) (AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found. Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two. In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurrence of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform. "I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurrence of breast cancer in women." The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision. "Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances." The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research. In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National Cancer Institute. Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings. "This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said. Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly. "There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said. Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio, but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the difference, say researchers. Also key seems to be the protein and enzyme count in the semen, but researchers are again waiting for more test data. The research consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to ten years, and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of women who had performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent. "The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause." -CNN.com/health * * * * * * * * * * * one of my boys passed this on to me. okay, great that ya'll are willing to help us out and all....but man...semen is NASTY! i'm all for fellatio, but shit...you taste your own shit and tell us to swallow that!

To my friends To My Friends Who Are...........SINGLE Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best. To My Friends Who Are............NOT SO SINGLE Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person.' It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be. To My Friends Who Are............PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE Never say 'I love you' if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways... To My Friends Who Are............MARRIED Love is not about 'it's your fault', but 'I'm sorry.' Not 'where are you', but 'I'm right here.' Not 'how could you', but 'I understand.' Not 'I wish you were', but 'I'm thankful you are.' To My Friends Who Are............ENGAGED The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other. To My Friends Who Are............HEARTBROKEN Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them. To My Friends Who Are............NAIVE How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain. To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you. To My Friends Who Are............AFRAID TO CONFESS Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel. To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go..... TO ALL MY FRIENDS....... My wish for you is a man/women whose love is honest, strong, mature, never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish.

random thought.... A lot of people have gone farther than they thought they could, because someone else thought they could. -Zig Ziglar

Happiness "Happiness depends upon ourselves." By contemplating this important issue you just might realize you've looking too far ahead to enjoy the moments that make up a happy lifetime: that wet ear lick from a frisky dog... a hug from a small child... the earnest "I love you" uttered by that special someone you love with all your heart... Happiness isn't about money, prestige or fame. It's about enjoying what you have. It's not about yearning for things you haven't got. "Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it's too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow." --Paul H. Dunn ..

ummm okay....
Aphrodite/Eros
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla i got this off of bumblebootie's blog. heheh looks like she likes tests as much as i do! =D

guilty pleasures... first go here...love test - animal test this is what i got... 1. You are attracted to those who have split personality, like cold as ice on the outside, but hot as fire in the heart. 2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is straight-forward, just tell you he/she loves you. 3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is flexible. 4. You don't like it when your partner is insecure. 5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is one that you care not only about the present but also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship that you can grow with. 6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything wrong after marriage. 7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married, you'll treasure it and your partner very much. 8. At this moment, you don't have the thirst for love, you can't do anything for it, you won't fall for it easily. then go here [it's fun!]

i am the one...
You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You display a perfect fusion of heroism and compassion. What Matrix Persona Are You? brought to you by Quizilla hehehe i knew it! =D

signs... i've been asking for signs lately (just cause, i'd like to know some things). funny thing is...they've been popping up (as early as the next day). it's very weird to actually get my signs sooner rather than later, like my little prayer to jesus...i got my answer in like 4 days (which happens to be my favorite number =D). so i'll just leave with this, my favorite line from Matrix Revolutions... love is a word...what matters is the connection it applies too. *MWAH*

DON'T Don't attempt to run from the past, it is always behind you. Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember a kite rises against the wind. Don't be afraid of tomorrow, for God has already been there. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless treasure you can always carry easily. Don't be angry at a friend who told your secret for neither could you keep it to yourself. Don't be concerned others not appreciating you. Be concerned about you not appreciating others. Don't be irreplaceable --- if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted. Don't be so Heavenly minded that you do no earthly good. Don't control. Be in control. Don't count the days. Make the days count. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. Don't ever slam a door --- you may want to go back. Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have. Don't get good at doing something if you don't like doing it. Don't get married only because of the money. You can borrow it cheaper. Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. Don't kill the dream - execute it! Don't learn the tricks of the trade, learn the trade. Don't let anybody walk through your mind with dirty feet. Don't let people drive you crazy when it is within walking distance. Don't let time take control of your destiny. Let your destiny take control of your time. Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. Don't limit your challenges --- challenge your limits. Don't listen to what I say; listen to what I mean. Don't love the things you own, lest they own you. Don't measure your life by how many breaths you take, measure it by how many times you get your breath taken away. Don't pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger people. Do let your friends check out these DON'Ts